Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Birthday Party, and my awesome friggin' outfit

Okay, so I've decided that I have some sort of deficiency. I'm freaking tired ALL THE TIME. But, I did take some time while at the party, and leaving for the party, to take some pics of my outfit and of all the fun and shananigans. The party was for my ex-boyfriend, Drew's birthday. I brought donuts and a Tv-Be-Gone. To be fair, I never usually dress like this. But I may start. It's more... put together and funky than what I usually do. The purple jeans, blue heels, striped shirt.
When I went to Krispy Kreme to pick up the donuts for the party, the guy behind the counter checked me out. And then, when the pizza got delivered at the house, the pizza guy did a double-take and then smile wave when he saw me. Granted, both of them were like 40 and tubby, but I still felt flattered. Oh, and today, a freaking miracle happened. I looked down at the scale and saw... 129.2. I haven't seen a twenty anything in about two years! And this was after scarfing down pizza, donuts, and soda all day. Hallulujah!
Tomorrow I have to write out my notes for my speech, and then Tuesday I have a math test, a final to turn in, and my speech to give. Oh boy, sounds like a delightful day. Hopefully I can get my shniznit together before Tuesday.
MY AWESOME OUTFIT. I wish you could see my heels up close. Shiny blue pumps.
Haha, I look like I'm boxing.
Drew
Me and Drew's friend Tyler

Drew looking curious, and his friend Chris in the background
Marcus, Mitch's pony tail, and Drew's little sister Chloe. This picture makes me as sad as a mouse in the rain. Two seconds before, Marcus was doing growly arms at Chloe and it was adorable/hilarious. My camera didn't take the picture in time. Ugh! Note the look on Chloe's face. Explains a lot.
Mitch playing... super smash bros. I think.
Me and Tyler. I did not get ONE picture with his eyes open. The room was pitch black, and so the flash was like a blinding device.
Me and Drew
Me and Tyler

Saturday, November 29, 2008

An ode to Britney

Lol, I accidentally posted this blank a minute ago.
Anyway, in honor of the pretty britney pic, I edited cracked out Britney.
To be honest, I don't care that it looks fuzzy and super photo-shopped. I was bored, and she looks less cracked out. The only thing that's off is the hair. And that stuff is HARD TO EDIT. Hair is annoying. Ask Angela. She wanted me to edit a pic for her, and I almost had a break down trying to trim around the flipped hair. Ah, flipped hair. My worst enemy. We meet again.

Anyway, i'll probably start posting more edit pictures. It's a great way for me to kill time.

TINYPIC DELETED MY REFERENCE PICTURE.
Pricks.
But, I though i'd show an edit I did for my ex's sister.
Pic Before
Pic After

If you ever want a pic edited, I'M YOUR GAL

Photo Editing

Okay, well, I found this pic of Britney Spears and I just had to edit it. Don't get me wrong, she looks a lot healthier than she did at the beginning of the year, but they're running her ragged. She looked so tired. So, I decided to freshen her up.I tried to make her look fresher, without completely distorting her face.

Anyway, this is what I do in my spare time. Woo, what an exciting life I have.

Tomorrow's my ex's birthday party. It should be fun. Geek and video games, that's my idea of a good time. (really, I wasn't being sarcastic!!)
Oh oh oh! I bought new jeans today! I'll take a pic tomorrow when I put them on. They're purple! Woo!

Anyway, dinner time. Enjoy the photo edit! I'll post pics from the party!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Very Quick Note

If I haven't left comments on your blog, don't worry.
I'm just tired. I'll get around to it. I have been reading, you haven't been forgotten!

And that's what I get for using a laptop

So I'm extremely tired. Can't figure out why, since it's 1:30 and I just woke up.
But I decided to check on my blog. I used my mom's comp, and what did I find?
My freaking layout isn't big enough. Instead of what I usually see, I see a big block at the bottom that isn't filled in.
Lovely.
Either I fix it, or my lazy self just leaves it until I design a new one.

Now, I have a question.
Why is it that guys don't seem to understand that texting is a two person ordeal?
My ex doesn't seem to realize that.
Since we're still close, we talk a lot. But... well, no I talk a lot. He makes me sit around waiting for his text messages to come through.
This, my friends, is EXTREMELY annoying. I'd be better off sending him a message through snail-mail at the rate he replies.
Ah, speak of the devil. His birthday present just arrived in the mail. Now I have leverage. Oh leverage, how I love thee.
See, I've never liked threatening people. But when they treat me like a pile of shoes, I threaten. I threaten until my threats become violent.
Now, as you all know.. chicks are sensitive. That's the way of life. So you shouldn't mess with a sensitive person when they're still nursing wounds. Especially when they're holding your birthday present hostage.
It's great that I can be friends with him, but not so great when it feels like he's taking advantage of it and taking his SWEET SWEET time to answer my messages.

My point is this. If you are going to start a text messaging conversation, you need to ...
Hahaha, my leverage totally worked. Estimated time until message arrival before threat: 30 Minutes to 1 hour
Estimated time until message arrival after threat: 2 minutes
Women are geniuses and men need to figure that out.
Anyway, if you're going to start a text message conversation, follow through and conversate (yeah, you heard me. conversate.)

NOW, for those of you doing online christmas shopping for your kids, I bring you:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/

When I was a kid, I would've wanted stuff from there. You should check it out. Now that I'm older, I'm getting stuff from the older sections. Why? Because I'll always be a geek at heart.

Anyway, I'll post pics of my Thanksgiving later. Right now I need to revel in my victory over the antitext-messager.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Fun with Gourds!

So for Thanksgiving, we wanted some cute decorations for our table.
We cooked and everything all day to get ready for tomorrow, but I took some time to make these gourd candles.
They were pretty... well not easy. They're easy in theory. If you're good with carving, they're still easy. But if you're trying not to slice your finger off, they're not terribly simple.
Here's the directions in case you want to take a crack at them for your holiday table!
What you need: Gourds of different shapes and sizes. The ones shown were the easiest to cut and stayed in place.
Different sized sturdy knives, depending on what you're comfortable with. I used a pairing knife, and a serrated knife for the stems.
Tea-light candles
A pencil/biscuit cutter
Newspaper
A spoon/melon-baller

Set out the newspapers on your workspace for easy cleanup.
Try to find a biscuit cutter that is approximately the same size as the tea-light (left in metal holder). Use the biscuit cutter to carve a circle into the top of the gourd.
If you can't find a biscuit cutter, just trace with a pencil around the tea-light on top of the gourd.
Use your knife to cut away at the needed opening. Usually the stem won't come off very easily. Don't worry about how deeply you cut into the gourd.
Cut out the circle-shaped portion that you drew on top of the gourd. (At that point I had to use a hammer and my knife to get the stem off. But you may have better luck.)
Clean up the inner edge where the candle will sit. Use the melon-baller or spoon to empty out the gourd of seeds and other guts.
Clean up the outside of the gourd with a paper-towel.
Take the tea-light and press it into the hole you made. If it doesn't fit, use your knife to carve it out until the candle does fit.
Be careful not to push it too far in. Push the candle in until it fits snuggly.
Voila, gourd-candle holder.


So, this year we're not having turkey.This is what we're having. A pork crown roast. I'm actually very excited about it. I'm not big on turkey. (But I'll show you what I AM fond of in a minute.)
I spent all day in the kitchen with my mom preparing the food for tomorrow. It better be good!

But, I have found what I could have a million times over. I wish my Thanksgiving meal was just a platter of these:It's called "The Bobbie". It's from this sub shop Capriotti's. It's fresh turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, and mayonnaise. Sounds nasty, tastes freaking amazing. We had them at the honor's society induction, and I had 3. They had 4 platters, so no one really cared.
Anyway, I hope everyone has a great, stuffing Thanksgiving! I'll be sure to post pics of our lovely table.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Need Some New Friggin' Jeans - New Song of the Week

The upside to losing 14 pounds? I feel healthier and thinner. (except the freaking lump on my stomach. MAKE IT GO AWAY, UGH.)
The downside:
My pants don't fit. I have to keep pulling them up. I looked like a dweeb today, running and trying to pull my pants up.

Today wasn't a great day. A few days ago I told a friend of mine about my plans with my ex, and he freaked out and confessed that he was "in love with me." Would've been nic... no I'm not going to lie. It still wouldn't have. It made me extremely uncomfortable. And then he kept texting and texting, and I was BUSY. But he assumed I was ignoring him (which now I might be. It was so annoying I couldn't take it.)
And then he had his friend start calling me. It was... two or three calls?
The first was while I was at Twilight, and they knew that. So it pissed me off.
The second was the next day. I answered and went "Hello? Helloooo? hello?" Nothing. So I hung up.
So he texts me, and got so angry with me. He said I was playing games and etc.
Playing games would've been telling the guy "I love you!" then when he tells me, I say I don't like him.
I never did anything. All I did was be busy. Gee, I'm sorry.

So, I went into gamestop today. I hang out there with those guys (who I avoided). The guy behind the counter always has my back, and when he saw me walk in he knew something was wrong.
I told him what happened and he was pissed. So when the two guys came in a little later, I saw them coming and hid behind a game display.
And listened while gamestop manager reamed them a new one.
And lover-boy's friend proceeded to say that I was doing it for attention.

What did I do? He was the one that rudely professed supposed love for me, and then proceeded to suddenly send like 50 text messages.
It was creepy, and I wanted to be left alone.
I'm just so sick of being insulted by people that I think are friends.
Gamestop guy (I know his name, don't worry. I try to keep from using names in my blog) bought me a frozen yogurt to make me feel better. I kept offering to pay for it and he wouldn't let me.
I hate that! Always makes me feel guilty!

Monday, November 24, 2008

My Posters!

So, my mom gave me a very special present today. She's fueling my obsession I swear.
I got another Twilight poster! Yay!
So, I thought since I couldn't think of anything to post today... Oh right, I have a few things.
But this post will primarily be a tour of the posters hanging on my bedroom walls!This is the ever elusive other side of my bedroom. This is where all of my posters are hanging.
This is my Jack Sparrow poster. I don't love him as much now as I did when I got the poster, but it matches all of the rest of my sort of "dark" posters. Note the skull in the picture. :)This is my FIRST Twilight poster. I wanted it because I'm not one of those obsessive Edward freaks. I'm in love with the entire story, and I wanted that reflected onto my wall.This is my Joker poster. I wanted a different one, because this one was too gory. But it was the only one Walmart had, and I really loved the movie. I was determined to get a Joker poster as soon as I could. (I was excited about the movie before Heath Ledger's passing, so I'm not a jump on the bandwagon type)This is the reason that I'm going to look obsessed. A giant poster with Edward's face on it. I wonder how Rob feels about this sort of thing.
Think about it for a second. How would you feel if a bunch of teenage girls had your face posted all over their walls? I'd feel quite weirded out.This is the poster hanging above my desk. It's very special to me. I was at Big Lots one day when I was a lot younger, and I saw it and I had to have it. I knew it wasn't some famous fancy picture, but it was so beautiful and innocent. It was the reason I became interested in photography. The angles, the kiss, and the setting. All perfect.This was my mom's poster for a long time. I found it stashed in the garage, tattered and glued to a foamcore board. I had to have it for my room. So, I ironed the board and got the poster off. I think it gives my room more of a retro vibe.

Now, off of the subject of posters, I'm working on my LAST SPEECH today. Woo! I'm writing it about the dangers of the HPV Vaccine.
I don't like Gardasil, never will.

Anyway, I'm working on my christmas list!
Give me any suggestions. :)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Short Post Today

I'm going to sit down and write an epic post tomorrow, but right now I'm just too tired.
I will tell you that I was officially inducted into Phi Theta Kappa yesterday. Score, I'm in an honors society!
So, how about instead of blogging since I'm TOO TIRED, I'll just ask a couple questions.
What should my next template layout theme be? (fall, flowers, music, etc.)
What could another blog tradition of mine be?
How was your day?
And what movie are you most looking forward to in the coming months/year?

Mine's gotta be... Harry Potter. Mostly because nothing else amazing is coming out.
Hope everyone's day was great!
I'll record my speech for you guys tomorrow and post it!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Twilight - Spoiler and Valley Girl Free

Alright, so here's my real Twilight post.
My opinion is this: The movie is the movie, the books are the books. If you expect the movie to be exactly like the book, you'll be sorely unhappy with the movie.
With that in mind, it did follow the book in a great fashion. People had been complaining that they hadn't allowed the story to develop the relationship between Bella and Edward, but I completely think that's untrue. Infact, there was a lot of time for the story to develop in the beginning. It even dragged in certain spots.
I think that the beginning was great, and the end was like this:
Ooookay, so we got the relationship all... oh sh*t we only have thirty minutes left. QUICK, THROW IN THE BALLET SCENE.
It all went rushing by in the end to the point that I can't even remember what happened. I remember the beginning, I remember the sparkling in the sunlight, but the end just blurs on by.
When I went into it, I didn't expect Kristen Stewart to be a good Bella, but she actually did a good job. People had been complaining that she never smiled, but she did smile. Quite a few times. And her voice wasn't as deep as I expected, which was refreshing.
Me and Shelby both decided that one side of Robert Pattinson's face is smaller than the other.Not like it bothers me that much. He's too scruffy and ew when he does interviews. But when he's Edward, I could just... I could eat him up.

Me and Shelby both decided that Jasper looked... uncomfortable the whole time. But not in a "baaaah I'ma eatchoo" sort of way. Shelby and I did our own impression of him.That's Jasper. Except in the baseball scene. That's when he really looked comfortable. Thank god for that. Because of that we were able to come out and say "Jasper was pretty hot."
And so was Emmet, in a big bear sort of way. I wanted to squeeze him.

I took pictures of the theatre when I was there. This was when there was 15 minutes left for the room to fill, so you can imagine what it was like.
And there were still rows in front of us that were filled up. All in all it was an exciting night, and I'm pretty sure they'll make new moon at this point.
Let's do the math, shall we?
30 Million to make the movie.
Estimated 150 Million in earnings for the movie.
150 - 30 = 120 Million.
Summit made 120 Million dollars.
If they were to use the 30 Million budget again for New moon, they'd have left-overs.
So... Twilight = Good Investment for Summit. Hurraaaay.

edit:
I just re-figured out my dislike for Rob's face.
I use brad pitt as comparison because he is universally thought of as sexy.
Edit edit:
HOLY CRAP ON A MONKEY'S UNCLE, THEY'VE ANNOUNCED NEW MOON.
*squuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueals*

Your Daily Dose of Laughter

video video video
Listen for my favorite parts.
Let's see if you can find them!
"What is wrong with my face"
"I am being sucked into a vortex, ahhhhh, ahhhh"
"Oh no, I'm st (she swears she said stuck, but I hear stoned) uuuck"
"You like that don't you?"
"I am a vampire *hisssss*"
"I'm quasimodo""I am a bubble"

Friday, November 21, 2008

First Video Blog! AND TWILIGHT.

video
Hi everyone! So Shelby and I, (Shelby's my best friend EVER), went to go see Twilight tonight.
Above is our epic video review of it. We say "like" enough. Ew I feel like a valley girl.
Anyway, enjoy! Sorry I haven't read your new posts today, been busy! I'll get to it soon!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Quick Skin Fix? Anyone?

My skin is messed up again. Pleasant. I've got a few tiny pimples on my chin, and one big one under my eye. I've got Twilight tomorrow, and I was bragging to my friend about my skin getting better, and now it's like... messed up.
Anyone have any idea how i can fix this?
Now, this isn't something i would usually do. But I'll show you guys what I'm up against.I will be the first to admit that I've seen worse. But it's horrendously painful, and extremely embaressing to constantly wear layers of pancake makeup. So, if you have some kind of home remedy for the pain/coloring/size I would really appreciate it.
It may not work, but I'm willing to try anything. Teenagers get acne, that's true, but usually they get a few pimples. I got a whole mine-field on my face!

Other than that, my day was uneventful. Oh, except at Pick Up Stix. My friend Zach was taught a lesson by the manager. :D
He got a "water cup" for a drink, which is free. And you can only get water.
Except he got orange soda. (if you wanted to do that, get sprite you idiot.)
So the manager came over to give me my food, saw Zach's drink, and goes "That's a water cup." and grabs it, and pours the drink out and doesn't give him his cup back.
And Zach's sitting there complaining about how that wasn't fair, and I'm like dude, you stole from them. So it was completely fair. And hilarious that he took your cup. So, don't steal sodas.
But I got the house chicken, and it rocked. :)

Help my skin!! Ahhh!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Random Day

Well, right now I'm putting off writing my speech. It should be an easy speech to do, but I really, really, really don't feel like it.
She expects it to be perfect, and yet we only get notes to read from. If you want a perfect speech, especially in this subject, I can't do it off the top of my head.
Anyway, I'm watching Disney Channel right now (there's nothing on) and I just saw a commercial for a movie that I'm pretty sure killed my innocence.
When I was probably... I guess 11 or 12, Disney came out with a movie called "Pixel Perfect"That blond (I always thought it was blonde... spell check tells me i'm wrong. huh.) is supposed to be the "perfect" girl. She's made from a computer program, etc. etc.
Now, for starters. Why is the perfect girl blonde? I don't know. That movie just rubs me the wrong way. It teaches girls that you're not perfect unless you aren't real. Completely stupid.

One of my FAVORITE disney movies would have to be Susie Q.It centers around a girl named Susie Q who was killed on her way to prom back in the 50s. She comes back as a spirit that can only be seen by this one kid, and she wants him to help her parents. Her parents are being kicked out of their house because of some sort of financial thing, but Susie knows where the important documents are.
Anyone that's seen the movie knows why I love it. It's just so cute and wholesome. The moment the car crashes into the bridge and that love song comes on the radio, and you see Susie's hand reach over for her boyfriend's... heartbreaking.
Want to know what else is heartbreaking? Disney doesn't air that movie anymore. And they didn't make any dvds. You have to search the internet for bootleg copies.
This is a longshot, but I found a petition to have it distributed. So, sign it? Haha!
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/susieq
Anyway, I guess I should work on my speech now. Ugh, no fun.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

This I Believe

Today in class we were assigned a new speech called "This I Believe"
It's based on a segment from NPR where normal people write a 3 minute essay on what they believe. It could be anything, but it is always inspirational.
Here is the site with the archives of previous segments:

http://www.thisibelieve.org/

Now, I think I've decided what I'm going to write about. Since I was home-schooled from 7th grade forward, I feel fortunate to have been saved from public school. So I can easily talk about that. Being home-schooled gave me the ability to teach myself and the ability to learn many amazing things. I was opened up to a world that wasn't restrained. It was an amazing experience, and still is. I incorporate what I learned during homeschooling during my everyday life.
My life is full of opportunities to learn and has created a colorful imagination that I wouldn't give up for anything.
To me, home-schooling is a gateway to an experience that couldn't be attainable through public school.
Public school is a place where imaginations go to die, and children go to transform into workers.

Here was a This I Believe that we listened to in class.
Barbeque

But here's the one that really effected me and made me take this assignment seriously:
Remembering All the Boys

Listen to it and let it sink in. Hopefully it will leave a mark on you, too.

p.s.

Monday, November 17, 2008

My Mission - Gardetto's

Okay, so today I'm having some womanly problems and I'm craving some crunchy, yummy Gardetto's.
Only problem is, those suckers are apparently hard to find. I had my mom go out and try to find some, and alas, there weren't any. How could this happen to me?
I WANT MY GARDETTO'S.
This is just one of my usual cravings. Other examples are: curly fries, goldfish... holy crap I want goldfish now. Cheezits, burger king crispy chicken salads, macaroni bites. Mmm... I'm so hungry right now.
My mom made us a "diet salad". Did not enjoy that. I like some salads, not this one. I think I'm just not in the mood for health food. I want crap, and lots of it.

I've also found that right now, I can't stand jewelry commercials. "There's only one thing that lasts forever, Love."
Go screw yourself and your love. Love doesn't last forever. You're just trying to sell me some crappy jewelry. I used to think love lasted forever, but now that thought is loooong gone.

WHERE ARE MY FREAKING GARDETTO'S?! I want something crunchy to munch on. But no. Here's what's available to me: Nuts, salad stuff, some chocolate, milk.
I want crunchy and salty and not healthy.
Is that so much to ask?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Unveiling!

Alright, so everyone knows this is what my hair used to look like:Well, with the help of my ex's birthday money, here's the new me:
And, here's the non-webcam view:I got hilights and lowlights. I like it so much better than my old hair.
Now I have much more self-confidence. Totally worth the 95 bucks.

As for the rest of the day, it's been uneventful. My dad is coming over tonight, but that's nothing amazing. TWILIGHT ON FRIDAY EEEEEEE.

Anyway, enjoy the pics of my hair!
Oh, almost forgot. New book of the week and song of the week!

Oh, and a note. I don't hate my ex. In fact, we both still care for eachother a lot. :) We'll always be close, and that's all I could ever ask for. Thank you everyone for your support!

Sweet, sweet Satisfaction

Well you remember all that money I saved to buy my ex-boyfriend a birthday present?
It's going to a good cause now... my hair. I'm dying it. Maybe just hilights. Maybe just lowlights.
But whatever it is, I want to better myself with what was going to reward him. My hair has been the same for a loooong time (except for the occasional purple or red hair dye - mom still hasn't forgiven me for that). So it is time for me to do something about it!

Waking up each morning is becoming easier and easier. He's becoming ruder and ruder to be honest. He said he wanted to be friends, and then his responses to my text messages are cold and short.
That's how MINE should be, not the other way around. I'm not going to text him at all today. If he wants to talk, he can find the time to do it. I'll be too busy gettin' my hair done-did. :D
Of course I'll show you guys when I get back. If I can't afford it, I'm just getting a trim. I'll still look spiffy.
Anyway, everyone have a great day, and I will be back!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

A Brave Face

I'm pretty sure I'm not as mature as you guys think I am. When I woke up I thought I was okay, and then I started looking back on my regrets.
I regret that my last kiss with him wasn't the way I wish it was. I regret that I didn't enjoy the time I had with him as much as I should have. At first I thought I could make it faster than most, but this is how I've looked all day:At times I can sit here and dillydally without thinking. And then wham, something triggers another crying fit. I love him, and I don't want to lose him. But I know I can't do anything about it.
Thinking about him with another girl makes me sick, thinking about me being alone makes me feel the same. I'm a wreck and I'm ashamed of it.
And then I start to wonder, how could he not love me anymore? I did everything for him that I could, and I still love him just as much as the first day we started dating.
What if he starts to phase me out? What if I just become a distant memory? What if he forgets me altogether?
And why couldn't he have said it nicer? Why couldn't he have just said that the relationship wasn't working, why did he have to tell me he doesn't love me anymore? That's the lowest blow I could think of. "I know that you thought my heart had a special place for you in it, but that place shriveled up and died. And now you're going to be alone and I'm going to have a great time with my friends and find another girl and you'll be miserable." He could've at least given me that glimmer of hope that he still had feelings for me, so that I wouldn't feel so alone.
He promised me he'd always be there, he'd always love me. He'd love me forever. What happened to forever? Did the calender speed forward and I just wasn't aware of it?
The feeling knowing that he can go on without me, that kills me. He used to tell me that if I died he'd be miserable, but now he'd just go on with his life without a look back.

I can't really do anything about it now. I have something I'm going to ask him about tonight that I may regret (no, not getting back together), and I'm just hoping he'll see it from my point of view.
Until then, I'll go back to crying. Ugh I'm such a wuss.Jesus, maybe I'm bipolar.
Nah. Just mood swings. This is hard for me.
But once again, I'm feeling better. Maybe I can find a way to make it permanent.

Anyway, enough with depressing.
I played more warcraft today. It was nice, but my mom brought me curly fries and a milkshake. She feels for me <3
Oh, and I found this needlepoint that my mom's friend made for me that I stashed in a drawer.It's a cheeseburger! Anyway, I'm gonna go for nowizzle. Gotta calm down forizzle.

Thank You Everyone

You know, for the longest time I didn't think I'd get through it if my boyfriend broke up with me. I was so used to the routine "Morning, I love you, would you like to play warcraft?" "Goodnight, I love you, Text me in the morning."
But after last night (You know, I've cried worse in my life) I woke up feeling like "I can handle this."
Every teenager wants their first relationship to last forever. I guess that's the downside of raging hormones. They're fun when you've found new love, sure, but they make you miserable when that new love turned old love dumps you.
The big downside is how my eyes are swollen to the size of freaking... something smaller than what my eyes were.
To be honest I knew I could eventually make it through when after I'd finished bawling and yelling at him, he said "Well I wasn't a good girlfriend" on accident (called himself the girlfriend, not me) And I went "Obviously *laughs* You aren't a girl. The stakes weren't that great for you to begin with if you wanted to be a great girlfriend."
Even when my world is metaphorically crashing down around me, I can make jokes. Who else can do that? Really?
Now that I've got my face mask on I feel a lot better.

Anyway, as the title says, thank you everyone. Thank you for supporting me and helping me get through this rough time. I didn't think I could make it, but I'm already beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Side note: Can someone teach me how to correctly reply to comments? I know there's a better way than posting in my own comments, or commenting on their blog. I just can't figure out what it is!

Friday, November 14, 2008

One Less Present to Give.

My boyfriend just broke up with me.
I'm going to flat out say it, he dumped me out of the blue.
Said he doesn't love me anymore. That this is for the best.

Did I take this with a stiff upper lip and power through?
No.
I cried, I cried a lot. I told him I hated him. I didn't mean it, but I felt it.
My mom's been coming back and forth telling me why this is better for me.
I'm starting to believe her. My hardest decision is whether I should stay friends with him or not.

In the long run I think I should. I spent two years with him, and I shouldn't throw away all of that time just because he doesn't love me. He doesn't hate me, we didn't end on "bad" terms technically.
I've told him that if he wants to be friends, he can form the relationship. If not, I'm not doing anything to progress it. I did enough work in our relationship to begin with.

I'm extremely torn up right now. First real boyfriend, first real breakup.
I have a headache, a stuffed nose, a confused mind. I just don't know what to do.

At one point I almost wanted him to give me back everything I ever gave him. But what would that do? I would be vindictive, and what would I do with it? Probably donate it to charity or something.
I've gotten past the point of crying every two seconds. That's a good step, right? My friends are all here for me. They understand why I want to stay friends with him. Although my best friend cracked me up. I called her absolutely bawling and I say "Shelby?" "Lee????" "He broke up with me." "OH MY GOD, NO F***ING WAY. DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL HIM? I WILL CALL HIM RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD."
She totally cracked me up doing that. She was maaaad.
What have I learned from this? If you keep a good mindset, you can stay friends with your exes, as long as you aren't trying to "work past the pain" (that would never work).
Although I'm still f***ing hurting right now.

Weight Loss... totally not worth it.

Alrighty, so recently I've been on a bit of a fitness binge. I got up to weighing 142 at one point, and it really annoyed me. Plus I had absolutely no stamina. I could run for 10 seconds and then I was completely winded.
So I started running on the treadmill. And I ran and I ran until finally I lost 12 pounds. Wee!
But now my mom has decided it is time for us to go on a diet. It's called "The Flat Belly Diet" or something like that.Let me tell you, if it's anything like the hell I went through when she was on the Atkins Diet, I would rather eat a shoe. In fact I'm pretty sure that everything in the first month of Atkins tasted like a shoe. Mashed potatoes? Haha, you wish! You get creamed cauliflower. Hamburger? Sure. Take off the bread.

Yeah, that made me want to cry.

Well this new diet doesn't sound any better. They make you use bread that taste like cardboard, you have to drink "Sassy Water" with every meal... yes, Sassy Water.
8. 5 CUPS WATER
1 TSP/ GRATED GINGER
1 MED. CUCUMBER
1 MEDIUM LEMON
12 SPEARMINT LEAVES

COMBINE EVERYTHING AND LET IT STAND IN FRIDGE OVERNIGHT. DRINK ALL WATER THROUGHOUT NEXT DAY

I can't stand ginger, so that's just not for me.
To be honest I think they best way to stay healthy is exercising, not following some fad diet. But what do I know? Maybe I can drop some water weight on this diet. If not, I'm going to eat the book. That's how hungry I am.

So with that in mind, let's blatantly change the subject for funsies.
Most teenagers have rooms that are covered in bright neon colors. But I personally think (if not for my posters) that many adults would love my room and happily live in it.
The pictures aren't that great, but I think it gets the point across. The only reason those two stuffed animals are on my bed is because the white dog is from my childhood, and the bear is from my boyfriend.
What do you guys think of my room? :)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

What to choose? Who knows?

My boyfriend's birthday is coming up on December 2nd, and I need to get him the most spectacular amazing thoughtful present any girlfriend has ever gotten a guy.
He's a gamer, and pretty much I'm sure I can expand from there somehow. Let's just say he's not the typical jock. He's the typical geeky 18 year old.

So I must ask all of you this favor. What do I get him?! I need to get it soon so that I can have time to take it back if it's necessary.
Here are examples of past presents:
Custom t-shirt, video game he wanted, customized pillow thingy.
And etc.
I was hoping you guys could give me some advice! He doesn't read my blog, so it's safe to leave suggestions here. (:

Anyway, I have big black circles under my eyes today. I blame Wendy fully (I'm kidding! I was sick last night, I really couldn't sleep. In fact, I thank you for giving me something to do while I was sick and unable to sleep). I read on her blog about the show Dead Like Me. And then I wound up watching the first episode at 11 last night. And then the second. And the third. And then the fourth. And then it was 2 in the morning and I couldn't sleep because I was so awake! My fear is gone because of that show. It's a freaking miracle.Someone please explain who the blonde with the red skirt is. THAT IS NOT THE WOMAN I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE IN THE FIRST FOUR EPISODES. WHERE IS THE FEISTY LADY WITH THE MOLE THAT STOLE HER WEDDING RING BACK?

One more note for today. I was so super sick this morning. I was about to look like this (quick note, that's not cat throw up, it's the cat's food on it's face):
But it was so funny because my mom had to stop to get me gingerale, and we pulled into this tiny shopping center and I saw a sign that said "Chi-Chi Couture Puppies"
Couture puppies? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I looked it up and only got a dog clothing site. Someone will have to explain the fundamentals of a couture puppy to me. Because last time I checked, you have to have a license to practice making couture. And it's clothing. Not puppies. Or puppy clothing.
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