I'm tired right now, so honestly my creative juices are not flowing like they should be.
But that won't stop me from blogging right now. I'm at work, it's a slow day, so I need something to occupy my time.
Of course, I would be doing something productive like homework, but I actually have no homework due.
Scratch that, I just finished the paperwork for my DJ Project, but that took 5 minutes.
My project is due next Thursday, and I'm finally recording it today. I'm nervous that I'm going to mess up. It's literally 15 minutes of watching the timers and pressing the right buttons, talking inbetween.
The timing has to be just right. You can't stop recording, you can't splice things together. You mess up big, you have to re-record the entire thing.
But at least I get to dance to some awesome music while it's recording.
I would chat with my boyfriend right now, but he's otherwise occupied. So I'm all alonesie on my ownsie. Which is a really annoying phrase that I hope I never say again. But I bet I will.
My classes have been relatively simple this week. They were completely canceled on Tuesday, so I spent the day hanging out with friends at school.
Today I'm hanging out with my bestie Anna, and we're going to go eat and then come back to the house to video chit chat with my guy. And watch movies. And shovel junk food down our gullets.
It's going to be awesome.
For the most part life has been good recently. Except I found out yesterday I may not actually be able to walk in graduating in May, which means I'll still never have walked in graduation.
That, and my mother and I are going to be on food stamps when we move to Flagstaff. Living in government housing.
Yeah, it's gotten that bad.
My mom's applying for food stamps soon. Of course now it's like a food "credit card" now, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing. I've never been in a situation like this before.
But it's fine. I'll be in Flagstaff, in my dream school. That's all that matters.
I've actually enjoyed taking a break from blogging for a while.
Although right now I'm getting REALLY ANGRY because my "E" key is sticking and making a really annoying POP sound everytime I type something with an E in it.
I think I may scream.
I've been dealing with things in my personal life, which is frustrating. I've said I'm not going to talk about it, and I really want to stick to that.
I'll just say that I hate being jerked around. Hate it, with a passion.
But that's okay.
I ordered my cap & gown a few days ago, and I'll be able to pick them up... I think it's April 1 or May 1. Either way, I get to wear a cap & gown! I'm also ordering honors chords and everything "honor" that I can wear.
I really want to order a class ring from the honor society, but it's $450, and I don't know if it's worth it. But I never got to wear a class ring, and all of my friends did. It's like a right of passage that I never got to have.
I'm worried about where we'll be after May, because in May the money runs out and we'll be broke.
I went shopping today. Since my dad lost his job, we won't really have any spare money for a while. But while we still have some cash, I decided to get some clothes for the summer.
I have created a montage for the pleasure of your eyeballs.I'm trying to grow up with my style. Less t-shirts, more dresses and blouses. And skirts. I did get a flowery tank, but honestly? I don't care. It's adorable.
I also bought a new pair of jeans, but jeans are nothing special, so I didn't want to clutter my montage with them.
IT'S MY MONTAGE, I MAKE THE RULES.
I noticed that I dropped 2 followers overnight. I said this wouldn't bother me, but I hovered at 85 for a long time. I was happy to be above 85. I want to hit 100, somehow, some way.
I should be thankful I have 85. But I don't need you deserters to start a trend. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN.
I'm also blogging on Tumblr now, much more frequently (since it's a more mindless form of blogging.) You can see it at leemariefink.tumblr.com.
It didn't start with a fight. It didn't end with crying and pleas for "Just one more chance."
It was 6 text messages, 20 minutes, and barely any emotion. Except my friends staring at me asking why I wasn't crying.
It's because I was done. I was done with the blistering arguments that we would have. I was done with the lack of care that either of us had. I wanted more. I didn't want to be in a relationship because I wanted to be in a relationship.
I wanted to be in a relationship because I wanted to be with the person.
So I ended it. Finally, right? I've been dumped 3 times. I deserved to hold the reigns at least once.
I care about him. I always will. But I want someone that I don't have to struggle with. Someone sweet, funny, cute. Someone that I don't have trust issues with. Someone I don't have screaming contests with.
I'm already interested in someone, but we're taking it slow and I'm going to keep it private because I don't feel like making it into a sideshow. I really like the person, and I really want to make it work without laying it out for the world to see.
My journalism professor handed me a brief note on a piece of paper today.
I expected it to be a graded assignment, maybe some kind of reprimand (which is why I got nervous).
When I read it, I got so excited.
My professor nominated me for an award as an outstanding student in the communications department.
How awesome is that?
My day has been great. I've been talking to a great guy, getting all my work done, no problems with anyone.
I'm pretty sure that my body has been snatched by a massive girly-girl.
Never in my life have I been that interested in girly things. Sure, I wear makeup. Sure, I do my hair. But that's just because I like to look nice.
Plenty of people that are not girly do those things.
But suddenly, everything has changed.
I like the color pink. All of my electronics are pink. All of them. Oh, except my laptop. It's white. In a pink carrying case.
My Ipod is in a pink silicone cover.I think that's what started it. Ever since then I've started incorporating pink into almost everything that I buy.
Except my clothes. For some reason they're always in lovely hues of gray and black.
I did my nails this weekend pink with gold tips.
My trip to walmart consisted of $10 worth of fruit, bubble bath, lip gloss, mascara and a nail kit.
It used to consist of Yugioh cards and other really guyish things. I feel like I've lost my way. I've turned into a girl.
Last night I was up until 11 pre-curling my hair to insure perfect bouncibility when I woke up this morning.
I also had to replace my cellphone this weekend because it was malfunctioning. I managed to also scratch the (bottom) of the screen with an exacto knife trying to put on the screen cover.
Needless to say, it didn't work. So I bought new screen covers, and am currently using the temporary one until the new ones come.
The new ones are really cool anyway. They're mirrored. There's actually a video about how it works that's pretty neat.
While I was buying all that stuff, I took the liberty of fully embracing my girly side and bought some more cellphone accessories.
I have to keep this phone for 2 years, so I'm doing everything humanly possible to keep from breaking it.
I bought another cover for the phone. (I already have a plain pink one.)
And then I bought a leather pouch to carry the phone in so that I REALLY can't break it. Needless to say, I feel like I'm going to cry if I break a nail, and I fear that I've gotten one step closer to dying my hair bleach blonde.