Stressed

I've been so stressed out lately.
Today just made it worse, but I won't get into details about it.
I just know I need something to de-stress myself.
But everything that usually de-stresses me has just added to my stress.
I need advice on this.

Until I can de-stress, I'll need to just lay down and chill out.
So, any advice?

Tomorrow I'll try to do my daily-posts again. But I need your advice first.

I'll still be commenting everyone's blogs. :)

I hate my life.

I got a D on my spanish quiz.
Seriously? A D? After I spent at least 5 hours studying for it?
I was so disappointed in myself.

My uncle died yesterday of a heroin overdose.
My mom is upset, since she's the oldest and used to take care of all of her siblings.
She's more upset because she can't get to Tennessee for the funeral.

Kush said he didn't want to be my friend anymore because he doesn't like playing with me.
Then why did I spend so much time worrying about you you piece of shit?
I wouldn't have bothered if I'd known you'd turn into a complete pile of garbage once you got home.
I almost said to myself that I wish he'd get shot when he got deployed again.
But I even took it back in my head, because I'm not THAT mean.

And now my friend Haney is trying my patience by being an idiot.

Bear with me. This is a LONG convo. I'll cut out the unimportant parts.
The basis is us talking about Gardettos, and me saying they're better than chex mix.
He said he'd try Gardettos to taste the difference.
This followed.

Doll Face says:
i like the gardettos spices better
Heyknee says:
i'll have to try them sometime then and try to taste the difference
Doll Face says:
you don't have to "try" to taste the difference.
Doll Face says:
there is a clear difference.
Doll Face says:
the only similarity is that they're a snack mix.
Heyknee says:
so, if i dont "try" them, how am i going to tell the difference? because if i dont have to buy a bag to try the difference then i dont particularly want to
Doll Face says:
what? i didn't say don't try them.
Doll Face says:
I just said you don't have to try to tell the difference
Doll Face says:
not try them to tell the difference
Heyknee says:
yeah, thats what i'm saying
Doll Face says:
no, no. listen to the wording.
Heyknee says:
how do i tell the difference without trying them
Doll Face says:
LISTEN TO THE WORDING.
Heyknee says:
-_-
Doll Face says:
you don't have to TRY to tell the difference. because there is a clear difference. so the difference is obvious. thus it takes no effort to tell the difference.
Doll Face says:
YOU THINK I'm saying you don't have to TRY THEM to tell the difference. As in you don't need to eat them.
Heyknee says:
you're doing this to confuse me arent you
Doll Face says:
no, it is so damn plain. oh my god.
Doll Face says:
i'll break it down farther.
Heyknee says:
lol
Doll Face says:
you're thinking of me saying "you don't have to try them"
Doll Face says:
as in, you do not need to consume them.
Heyknee says:
... because that's what you said?
Doll Face says:
no, it's not. -_- f***** i'm going to punch you.
Heyknee says:
Okay... one question, just quick. What is the difference that you're talking about?
Doll Face says:
Okay. this is my last try.
Doll Face says:
"You don't have to try the gardettos" or "You don't have to try to taste the difference because the difference is clear and when you take the first bite the difference will be obvious"
Doll Face says:
Now, two different things right?
Heyknee says:
okay... sure, one's about taste and one's about crispy
Doll Face says:
ohmygod.
Heyknee says:
what, you said the difference is clear when you "take the first bite" but you're trying to point out a difference between "take the first bite" and "dont have to taste" the only thing I can determine from a bite before a taste is how hard or easy it is to bite into w/e it is i'm eating
Heyknee says:
and you're saying i'm wrong...
Doll Face says:
holy s*** haney.
Doll Face says:
ONE MORE TRY
Heyknee says:
lol
Heyknee says:
i thought the last try was one more try?
Doll Face says:
I was not telling y... shut up.
Doll Face says:
I was not telling you you didn't need to try the gardettos. I was telling you that it would take no effort to taste the difference between chex mix and gardettos because the difference is obvious. Thus you don't need to "try" to taste the difference.
Heyknee says:
as in i dont need to make a concious attempt to eat food? i usually never do
Doll Face says:
if i were with you right now, you would be dead and the cops would be at your door with me covered in your blood saying I didn't do it.

That last part was my favorite.
He did eventually figure out what I was saying.
Not before giving me an aneurysm of course.

Oh, and today in sociology we talked about drug use.
Worst possible timing for that curriculum EVER.

Plus Daniel ditched me for lunch today.
That pissed me off.
And I had to push Melora's car out of her spot because the battery died.
I had no tread on my shoes, cars are heavy, and I was standing in gravel.
That really sucked. I wanted to kill her.

All-in-all, crappy day. Crappy week. Probably a crappy month.
Crap.

Barely Alive

I'm so exhausted again. For like a week there I felt good, always had energy. Now I'm back in a slump where I'm debating whether I should take a nap or not.
I had to stay up and edit that video last night, which of course didn't help with my energy level.
And then I had to get up at 6 to get ready for school.
The good news is that I got a B+ on my math test. Woo. Who would've thought I'd be cheering on less that A's.
I almost showed my spanish teacher my video on accident. I told her what I did this weekend, then I mentioned for god knows whatever reason that I had the video on my iPod.
She wanted to put it up on the projector and show the whole class.
I said I didn't have my chord.
So Daniel goes "ISN'T IT UP ON YOUTUBE?"
"SHUT UP DANIEL."
I do NOT need my spanish class seeing my video. I'm embaressed enough in that class with my lack of spanish-speaking skills.
I was kind of frustrated with Shelby yesterday because she wouldn't dance. Kept saying she didn't know how. So I had very little video of her to use. That's why the majority of the video consists of me.
Of course everyone close to me that saw the video went "That's cool" and went on their merry way.
Thanks, thanks so much for the encouragement.
I hope you get some sort of STD and then come crying to me about it. Because I'll just say "That's cool."

The funniest thing happened today. Daniel was making fun of me for the whole youtube thing. But what he didn't know was that the girl sitting next to me had found an old dating profile of his and told me all about it. So I turned to him and I said, "Oh yeah, well how would you feel if I showed everyone your cupid profile!"
He was seriously shocked. He said he made that a long time ago as part of a dare, and that he forgot about it. Looks like it came back to haunt him, huh?
Makes me wonder if everything I do on the internet will come back to haunt me one of these days.
You never know, huh?

Oh, and I'm giving up on wordles. I don't have the drive or ambition to use it anymore. Maybe on occasion.
I know this post is a little stinted, but that's how it needs to be. I'm so tired, I need a nap!

But here's something to all of you new readers that I'm becoming aware of:
If you want me to follow you, ask in this post and I will. I don't do it voluntarily because I lose track of everyone. It's not to insult you, it's to keep from getting a cluttered pile of people that don't even read my blog!
As it is, I comment on 30-45 blogs a day, and yet get around 11 comments on each post.
That doesn't exactly add up. But whatever.Aw, look how popular I am. I got a text while taking my picture.

As promised...

Circus - Shelby and Lee Edition!
We will be back to our regularly scheduled posting tomorrow. Until then, enjoy!


If it doesn't work here, try this link: Youtube.
For whatever reason, I can't watch the video on my iPod from youtube.
So I'm going to embed it here just incase that magically fixes it.

Stay Tuned

No, I haven't been ignoring you guys.
I've been editing together a new Shelby and Lee music video!
Here's a sneak peak:Check back later tonight for the finished product. :)

Confusing Relationships

You know, for the past few days I've felt extremely frustrated with the route my life is going down.
I got a C+ on my History test, which stressed me out so much. I studied my ass off for that test, and it didn't even pay off.
Then I've been sick, and I'm still fighting it. Someone asked me today if I was sick. I didn't even realize you could hear it in my voice anymore.
And I have a giant planet-sized pimple on my forehead. It's so painful that it's infuriating. My skin was finally starting to even out, and then this horrible thing popped up.

But the thing that's really starting to wear me down is relationships. Some of the guys involved read this blog, but sadly I need to get it all off of my chest.
I have a number of guys interested in me right now. A number that is higher than 3.
Each of these guys tells me I'm beautiful. Each of them tells me that they love my personality, and that I'm cute and quirky.
But my problem is... what do I do in a situation where a number of GOOD guys like me? Each one of them has their good and bad qualities, but each of them is sweet and caring and have shown a real interest in me, not just a material interest.
I sound like a whiny brat, complaining about all the boys that like me. But they're all really sweet.
Even with all of these guys, tonight when Drew told me he asked someone out (that turned him down), I still got sort of hurt. Feeling as if I was being replaced. It crushed me.
What crushed me worse was when I told him it hurt me, he called me a "self-centered selfish bitch".
I can't win. I constantly get cut down and called names. No wonder my self-esteem is so low.
But I've got guys constantly texting me, calling me, IMing me. All of them say they miss me, want to talk to me. I love the attention, I hate the situation it puts me in.
Like Daniel. He's sweet, but I couldn't date him because he's 22.
Then there's Nathan. I'd like to get to know him better. I'd even like to date him. He's 21. So that's probably a no.
Then there's Haney (Andrew). I really like Haney. I need to get to know him better, but I really like him. But he lives in Ohio. But I'm not counting him out. Why? He's 19. Bingo age.
Every guy that likes me is over 20. To be honest, I'd even pursue it if the over 20 guys really showed an interest.
They haven't showed a major interest yet. Daniel is still too old, though.
He came over today. We played Left 4 Dead, and then we walked to Subway.
I saw a tree and took a picture with it because the tree was pretty, and I felt that I should share my beauty with it.So my day was pretty okay in general. Not amazing.
I need to work on my sociology project, and then I need to comment all of your blogs.
So, hopefully I find a solution to my problem soon.
And fix my webcam, which has decided to become pixely for no reason.What the frick. The picture is tiny.

Feeling better, Tiffany on the other hand...

Puked on my desk.
I come in, sit down with my coffee, and then I notice the giant pile of wet cat food sitting on my desk.
The problem is, it was the dry cat food. So, I knew it was puke.
And it was on my headphones.
And the floor.

Seriously, that is annoying to the power of frustrating.
I hate puke. I hate any sort of bodily liquid. It makes me gag.
And my mom wasn't home, so I had to clean it up.
That was a traumatizing experience, let me tell you.

Oh, plus I've been depressed. Drew called me a neurotic bitch. I can take a lot of things, but when you start cutting me down like that, I just can't stand it.
It's frustrating. Whenever we have a disagreement, he takes the low road and calls me things that he knows will make me shut up because I'm so upset.

I'm still really tired from being woken up by nausea at 3 AM night before last. I still haven't recovered from my heavy lack of sleep.
I keep zoning out trying to type this post actually.
I don't know that I'll be able to get very much farther with what I'm typing.
I'm still stuffy, still nauseous. I have two papers to do, and I'll probably work on them over the weekend.

I'm going to see if Daniel wants to hang out this weekend. Me and him and really gotten close. We have a lot in common. He's an English major just like me, so we know a lot of the same things.
It's refreshing, having a guy around that treats me like I want to be treated.
Yep, that was a jab at Drew. I don't care. He treats me like crap.
He still does. 4 months after breaking up and I still deal with his bull all the time.
Maybe eventually he'll change.
If not I'll just murder him to feel better about myself.

Don't tell anyone I said that. Because if he winds up getting murdered I'll be blamed and I don't have time to go to court and lie about not doing it.
Because I'll probably be the one that did it.
After all, I'm a neurotic bitch.

I think I'm going to make some easymac and chill out and just zone. And watch some Desperate Housewives reruns.
I really enjoy these re-runs. Gives me the chance to look at things.

I'm sorry my posts are sort of... blah recently. It's my sickness I think. Eventually it'll get better. I hope.
I need get up to date with your blogs today. I love ya'll!