Never Goes How You Want it To...

I was going to go to the movies today, and then go bowling.
I was going to take Shelby, it was going to be fun, the end.
It was also going to distract me from Drew being at Cameron's all day.
Because I know he will.

Instead I'm laying in a tank top with no pants on bored out of my mind.
None of my plans ever go the way that I want them to.
I mean sure, it's fun to lay here with no pants (I like the draft).
It's just not the same. I want to be watching X-Men right now and soaking in the beauty and glory that is Ryan Reynolds.
Yeah, that's right. I want to go see X-Men again JUST to see Ryan Reynolds.
And he's only in 20 minutes of the movie, tops.
Shelby said we can go tomorrow, but I'm not one to delay gratification.
That's why I'm going to just stare at this picture ----->
All. Night. Long.

I told Drew that if I got the chance, I'd leave him for Ryan Reynolds.
I told him "Look, I'm leaving you. Just not right this second. But when Ryan Reynolds comes and carries me away on horseback, we're done."
And it's true. I know that it's going to happen one day. I can sense it.
(Ryan, call me!).

So we're going tomorrow, and then we're going bowling.
I'm also going to see Star Trek tomorrow. How busy am I, huh? Two movies AND bowling.
I am on FIRE.

I gave Drew a laptop on Saturday, one of my old ones. Now I regret it, because it keeps overheating and shutting down.
Essentially, I gave him a hand-warmer/paper-weight.
If used correctly, it could be a butt-warmer!

His house also has no air conditioning. Sucks really, really bad. It's nearing triple digits here, hitting them some days.
He wanted to kill me last night. I asked him to call me, and he didn't want to disappoint me. So he stayed home in the heat instead of going to sleep at Cameron's.
It was sooo sweet.
And I would've told him to go anyway, but... but it was my night so too bad!

I'll take pics with Shelby and possibly my friend Alec tomorrow. I'll try to get more with Shelby in front of stuff.
Because that's what we do. And bowling!

Unexpected Evening

I messed up and meant to just post this on Monday.
So DON'T MARK ALL AS READ ME.
PLEASE!

So Drew came over Saturday, and I didn't take pictures because we all know how smart I am.
If I were a lion, I would have found a way to get eaten by an antelope by now.
Yep, I'm that smart.

First we planned on going swimming down at my neighborhood community pool. I need a chaperone because I'm under 18.
So I dragged Drew down there as my "chaperone". They gave me crap about having an obsolete key and that I have to have a parent with me, so we didn't get to swim there.
I half-heartedly said "Plan B!"
We drove down to the Y in hopes of going swimming there.
Closed until Memorial Day.
Little bastards. Thwarting my plans of swimming. Why must you cause me such emotional grief?! I just want to swim!

We had a nice day after all of that. Sat outside at one point with candles and just talked under the stars. It was very nice.
We even slow danced to no music for a little bit.
We talked about the fact that Cameron's moving back to Oklahoma on Wednesday.
(Am I allowed to cheer on the inside?)
I told him I was happy for my personal gain from it, and that I was sad for Drew because I knew having Cameron here meant a lot.
Which was completely true. At least I was being honest.
I could've just said "Ha HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WIN."
But that would be wrong.
But feel so right.
No, no it would just be wrong.

We also laid together and watched Xmen 3, and we played Fallout and a little Halo.
Drew actually got bored of Halo. That NEVER happens. He was like "So... what do we do now?" After 10 rounds.
I was dumbfounded. Drew, bored by Halo? Who are you and what have you done with my Drew?

When Cameron came to pick Drew up, I was less than excited.
We all know that Cameron and I have animosity between us.
I'm sure that's been made clear in the past.
Well, when Cameron showed up I went up to him and said "Look, I want to apologize for anything I've ever done to offend you. I don't want anymore animosity between us, because it's not doing either of us any good."
He agreed, apologized for his part, and then the real fun began.
Cameron's car was broken. His left blinker wouldn't turn off.

I wasn't going to let Drew drive in a car with a broken blinker. With his luck, they'd get pulled over.
So what's a girl to do?
Pull out my tools and get under the hood.
I pulled open the fuse box and tested a few fuses. I found the one for the blinkers, but of course that was a last resort because that would completely stop any blinkers, not just the left one.
So then we pop the hood and I decide to take the bulb out of the blinker. I unscrew everything and get ready to take it out, and decide it's just not worth it, because the other blinker still wouldn't work.
So I get BACK in the car and go for the fuses again, pop out the one for the blinker, and let them go on their merry way. Cameron was eternally grateful, and I was laughing on the inside.
Two guys and a girl, and the girl is the one working on the car.
I didn't think to get pictures of myself, but I should have. I was dirty and sweaty and completely into it.
I loved pulling out the fuses and checking the cables and everything.
Cameron kept telling Drew "Go sit in the garage and let the expert work on it."
Expert being me.
It took almost two hours to get everything going, because it was 10 at night, dark, and he had no manual for his car, so I was working on pure intellect.
Watching my mom work on her car must have rubbed off on me.
Plus my PCOS. All that extra testosterone must have given me the man's car fixin' ability.

So Cameron and Drew leave, after both giving me hugs, and I go back inside and pass out because once AGAIN I accidentally popped my trazedone before I wanted to.

Today I woke up determined to do something.
First, I wanted to finish a book I've been reading.
It's called "Extras", and it's the fourth book in the "Uglies" series that I used to tell you guys about. It's set 300 years in the future, after mankind is rebuilding itself from nearly destroying itself. In "Uglies", everyone gets a surgery when they're 16 in order to be considered beautiful. In extras, surgery is just the "hip" thing to do. It's not mandatory.
So yeah, you guys should read the "Uglies" series. "Extras" is actually the first book I've read since the Twilight series. How freaking crazy is that? I couldn't get my mind off of Twilight.
That's my OCD for you.

The second thing I wanted to do? Muscle training.
I do 5 minutes of treadmill a day. Which is great. I lost 25 pounds by doing that.
But I don't want to just lose the weight, I want to tone my body.
So, I got up and did an hour and a half of muscle exercise.
I worked my legs, my back, my stomach, my arms. Everything I could think of.
I was dripping with sweat, but I felt satisfied.

It's mind-shattering when I look at the way I used to look.
I was never truly FAT, but my body was very out of shape.I used to wear tent clothing to hide my stomach, loose jeans to hide my thighs.
Compare that to now:
I'm proud of myself and everything I've done for my body, and now I can't wait to see how I can tone myself up.
Oh and Drew screwed up a little last night and he's being ungodly sweet this morning.
Loving this.

Vlogemotions Week 3

It's a short one this week, but I don't have much to say.
Plus I already did a blog for today, and I hate double-blogging.
I could kick myself for doing that.
Plus I'm SO CLOSE to post 200, and I don't wanna screw it up!
I over-complicate my life.
So sue me.

Okay, please don't sue me. I have twenty bucks and some pocket change.

And please visit: here and here

Shedding Like a Shaggy Dog

I keep shedding my weight.
I have no idea where it's going.

Maybe I'll lift up my bedskirt and see a giant pile of fat there.
I weigh 117 today, which is two pounds lighter than what I weighed this morning.
Whaaaaat?
Yeah, I have no idea how I dropped 2 pounds in a day.
My mom's worried that I have an eating disorder.
Pfffft, eating disorders are for quitters.
Of course Drew's worried about me, but he's always worried about me so that's not a new development.

He's also coming over tomorrow to pick up the laptop I'm giving him.
It's my old 30 gb dell.
30 gbs? That's horrible!

Well my friends, it is. That can barely hold anything. But at least he'll be able to browse the internet and talk on msn, maybe play warcraft.
(I highly doubt that, but he's optimistic).
(Frickin' optimists).

I went to the chiropractor today. He cracked my back and all of that, but when he stretched my neck his hand touched my boob a little too much.
I don't think it was intentional, since he had to press on my chest for the stretch. But it still made me a tad bit uncomfortable.
Next time I'll tell him to be more careful with his hand placement.

I bought a new sundress yesterday, and I bought some new jeans. I was desperately in need of jeans.
I had 4 pairs of jeans with holes in them. The only jeans that FIT me.
And unlike those people that think ripped is a "trend", I like my jeans to be polished and not look like a cat got ahold of them.

The Lion King was good. I really enjoyed parts of it, but other parts I wasn't that into.
The guy that played Zazu (the bird, I think that's how you spell it), was actually on Frasier for a long time. He played Lloyd.
At one point the curtain got stuck and a stage hand had to come out and yoink it down, and Lloyd in his Zazu voice said "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"
I laughed my ass off, but I don't think anyone else got it.
So they had some kinks to work out. At one point someone lost their shoe on the stage. My ADD kicks in, and all I can do is stare at the shoe until someone runs out and grabs it.
Same with the curtain. I just stared at it until someone came out to yoink it down.
I really have a one-track mind, huh?

Other than the accidental-gropey chiropractor, new clothes, and Lion King, nothing is new.
Tomorrow Drew's coming, and I usually take pictures then.

I'll comment your blogs later today, like I always do! I'm dependable like that!
I'm like Michelin tires!Was I a smartass enough today? I feel like I'm losing my sparkle.
I sparkle like a vampire in the sun usually.
(I piss so many people off saying that. "VAMPIRES BURN IN THE SUN! BURN! THEY DO NOT SPARKLE!!!!!!" - Drew)

And please visit: here and here

Well That Was a Let Down

I got my Dunkin' Donuts.
The chocolate munchkins tasted like Playdoh.
Don't ask me how I know what Playdoh tastes like, I just do.

So from now on, I'll be sticking to my Krispy Kreme.
I've always been a loyal Krispy Kreme customer, and now it's going to stay that way.
Because I really don't like eating Playdoh.
Anymore.

I'm going to see The Lion King stage show tonight. It's media night, and opening night is tomorrow.
That's one of the perks of having a dad that writes the entertainment column in the newspaper.
You get to go with him to see the entertainment.
I get to get all gussied up so that I can look like an adult at the cocktail parties before the shows.

I remember the time I got into a nightclub for the opening of Criss Angel's Believe.
That show BLOWS. Just so you know.
Don't waste your money.
But the nightclub had burlesque stripper dancers in the middle of the bar.
So I knew I wasn't supposed to be there.


I also cut the hell out of my leg shaving.
It was like a cheese grater effect.
I'm shaving, shaving, and then BAM I accidentally shave off a chunk of skin.Oh, and there's something you guys need to try...

The pedegg!
I saw it on TV, and I thought "Wow, what a load of crap. That's just a cheese grater for your feet."
My mom has always had horribly dry feet. White, peeling off dry skin.
She used the pedegg once, and already her feet were smooth. They still looked dry, but all the dead skin was gone.
My feet only have a few dry patches, and I thought "This thing won't help me, my feet barely are dry."
I was wrong. Which NEVER happens. We all know that I'm always right.
This thing took off dead skin I never knew I had.

So that's all that's going on. I may take pictures at lion king, but I'm not sure.
Would you guys give me feedback on the way I'm setting out my pictures now?
It won't be the same when I have a lot of pictures from a trip or something, but when I have just a few pictures it may be like this depending on your guys.
What do you think?

My Quest for Dunkin' Donuts

Ever since I read Wendy's blogpost that mentioned Dunkin' Donuts "Munchkins", I've been craving them.
I've also NEVER tried Dunkin' Donuts coffee, and everyone says it's the best coffee ever.
Every day this week that we've been out, I have wanted Dunkin' Donuts.
My mom has been more than willing to get me some, too. (She knows that it's very likely that I will chew someone's hand off if I don't get what I'm craving, pronto.)

Well, we drove past one, which made me crave it. When I finally mentioned it, I couldn't remember where I saw that particular store.
So, we started looking.
Couldn't find one ANYWHERE.

Sadly, I still have not tasted a munchkin, and I have not allowed myself to be immersed in the supposed joy that is Dunkin' Donuts coffee.
I don't even care now. I just want donuts and coffee, damnit. It's not that hard!
I might just go to Krispy Kreme... but then what?
That would be giving up. That would be forfeiting, admitting defeat.
Finks do not admit defeat! They insist they're right no matter what, and always get their way!
Some call it spoiled, I call it... blessed!

But seriously, guys. I need it. I need those little donut holes, and I need that coffee.
If I don't get it, I might do something drastic. Something scary.
I might kill someone, guys. I just don't know yet. I don't know what I'm capable of.

On my quest to find munchkins, I ran across a blog.
At first the blog seemed normal... until I realized it was written by a dog.

Dog Blog

I've seen this before, but it trips me out everytime. Why on earth can't you just have your own blog?
And why does the dog get more comments than me?
Wire-haired little bastard.

Other than my insatiable need for Dunkin' Donuts, the trippy dog blog, and a few trips to the doctor, nothing's new.
I did have an eye doctor's intern stare at my boobs, but that's nothing new really. The only difference was that he wasn't a walmart cashier or construction worker.
My hair's perm has stuck, which is freaking exciting for me. It's like mermaid waves.
And I've kept my weight at 118 consistently. I had two dollar menu burgers from McDonalds.

Has anyone tried those? I like them. They're just bun, meat, ketchup, onion, pickle for 89 cents.
That's really how I like my burgers. I can't stand anything else on them.

My days are boring as hell, aren't they? Why on earth do you guys read my blog?
Maybe it's pity.
If that's the case, keep pitying! Woo!

What kind of things have YOU been craving this week?

A Hodge-Podge of a Hullabaloo

Today was sort of a mix of things.
First I went to the endocrinologist's.
Actually, I went to the pediatrician's.

That's the thing that makes me angry about my age.
I feel like I'm 20, and yet I have to get my blood pressure taken with the "big girl's" cuff.
All because I'm 16.

Of course, most of the doctors I go to are normal doctors, but almost all endocrinologists in Nevada refuse to take people under 18. So you have to pick and choose where you can.

The damn place was called "The Peds". Pronounced "peeds" apparently.
Seriously? Was I at a night club, or a doctor's office?
With all that being said, my doctor was really nice.
He didn't draw blood because he said that my medicines would mess with the results, so he went off of my symptoms and my old blood tests.
He even felt my arm pits!
That was uncomfortable. I was thinking "I hope you wash your hands as soon as you leave the room."
So, he diagnosed me. And what he diagnosed me with pissed me off.
Why? Because I diagnosed MYSELF with it last year, and everyone said "Noooo, noooo. That's not what it is! No way!"

What do I have? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS.
It's super complicated and hard to explain, so I'll make it simple.
Insulin spikes, cysts form on ovaries, cysts cause spike in testosterone.
Testosterone makes me sweat, get acne, be aggressive, and grow hair weird places.
And it's... wait for it... untreatable! Yay being screwed for life!
Plus I'm sort of a man, because I'm super manly with my elevated testosterone.
*flexes* See the manliness?

The best part are my only options to end the sweating.
I can
A) Take a medicine that turns my hands and feet orange and BURNS OFF MY SKIN so that I can't SWEAT FROM IT. His words, not mine.
B) Get the nerves in my hands and feet surgically clipped off.
C) Botox.

While having my skin turn orange and then burn itself off sounds fun, I think I'm going to pass.
Sound good? Yeah, sounds good.After that we went to Jersey Mikes and got some subs. I really love a good sandwich every now and then.
I'm too lazy to make them myself.
Who has time to cut the bread, spread on the condiments, blah blah blah blah blah.

Then we went to my psychiatrist. Busy ass day for my health, huh?
I told him what happened with the Cymbalta, so he gave me Pristiq. I'm starting it tomorrow morning.
I then told him that lately I've been feeling angry very easily, and that I lash out and can't control myself.
Most of this is aimed at Drew. I get angry for no reason.
Cameron bought him a video game, and I got angry because I thought Cameron was trying to upstage me and that Drew would like him better now.
Truth me told, it's a rational fear. This whole bromance thing is getting out of hand.

So he gave me something called Risperidone to take along with the Pristiq and Trazodone.
I just looked up Risperidone.
It's an anti-schizophrenic/bipolar medicine.
The voice in my head is telling me I don't need that medicine.
What's one of the side-effects of Risperidone?
Anxiety.
The whole reason I went to the psychiatrist in the first place.

So I'm on 3 different anti-depressants, all for different things.
I have a headache, I'm tired, and apparently my ovaries look like someone had a bitchin' party on them.
So, I'm going to go to sleep.
Fair enough, right?

Oh, and Drew read the open letter.
Think he's getting it. Now for him to text consistently... hmm... new letter, here I come...
Oh, and for kicks let's look back at the picture of me the night I took Cymbalta.
I saw it earlier and went WHAT HE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?
I looked awful.
But it's funny as hell, because you can SEE that that medicine was messing me up.
I look schizophrenic, standing on the street corner asking the voices in my head if we've collected enough money.
My eyes especially. The medicine gave me crazy eyes.