"Miss J"

This week has been nice. Really.

It's been less stressful. More me-time, more friend-time.

Of course, the whole "walk into class on Tuesday only to realize there's a test you didn't study for" thing didn't help with the stress. But I guessed my ass off and pulled an 8/10.

I'm a good guesser.

We have a group paper due in two weeks. I really hate group papers. I don't hate working with other people. I simply hate resting my grade on someone else. I want credit for my work and my competence, no one else.

We have been working in the studio in the radio class. We've been working on our "DJ" personality. We simply have to know how to speak like a radio DJ. It varies based on the format of station you're speaking for, but the basic concept is the same.

For whatever reason, I decided to go with "Hot 97.5." My teacher said we have to have "attitude" when doing a station like this. I had to create a "DJ" name, so I went with "Miss J" for absolutely no reason.

I didn't think about "Miss J" from America's Next Top Model until I had already taken the plunge, and even then my friend pointed it out before I noticed. There was no going back.

Now whenever I say "You're listening to Miss J," I imagine myself as a cross-dressing man with amazing legs and an attitude.As if this wasn't bad enough, my Professor told me I should do a "sassy snap" after I say my name.

I lost it. I was laughing too hard. I started yelling about being a transvestite, and blamed my friend Heather for reminding me of Miss J from ANTM. Everyone in the class was laughing hysterically, including the Professor.

I got it together, did my thing and got through it without stumbling over anything.

It went a little something like this:

"You're listening to HOT 97.5, your music all day, everyday.
I'm Miss J *sassy snap*, and you just heard Poker Face by Lady Gaga.
Coming up on June 2nd the Running Rebels will be having a charity event at the Thomas and Mack arena.
There's going to be lots of special guests and fun, so make sure you come on down to support Saint Jude Children's Hospital!
You can get tickets at ticketmaster.com.
Don't turn that dial, you're listening to Miss J *sassy snap* on HOT 98.9, the music you want, all day, everyday."

And then everyone applauded.
No, really. Everyone applauded.

I'm surprised I got through it. The first time I "sassy snapped," I could see the professor laughing hysterically through the glass. But I just rolled with it.

I stayed after with my friends to practice more.I feel like a real DJ when I'm in front of the mic. It's really fun.

While practicing I said something remarkably stupid.

"You're listening to 87.9, Las Vegas' classic music station.
You just heard Beethoven's symphony.
Would you like to win ticket's to Beethoven's conce...eeee...rr... wait."

There's no recovering from that.

I am learning recovery though.

"We'll be at Mood nightclub tonight for ladies night!
We'll be setting up at around 8 AM... well wait, 8 AM is too early for a nightclub!
We'll be there at 8 PM!"

Oh yeah, I'm smooth.

I have recordings of myself with music doing this, so maybe I can find a way to show you.

You're listening to Miss J on PerpetualBurnBlog.com, today's hottest blog from yesterday and today.

My Realization

I've realized now, after taking this break over the weekend, that my blog has become less a place for me to enjoy myself, and more a place that I feel obligated to maintain.

Blogs shouldn't be popularity contests.

I was always trying for the most comments. If I didn't crack 10, I was disappointed.

Sometimes I would even delete a post if it didn't get much attention.
I would come home at night, exhausted, wanting to just lay down and not do anything. I work, go to school, work my second job (as webmaster), deal with friends, boyfriends, family, exercise.
So even when I just wanted to lay down, I felt obligated to sign on and write something.

It shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't feel forced into posting.
This all came to after the freedom I felt this weekend. I wasn't obligated. I was nothing. I did what I wanted. I barely ever touched the computer. I actually didn't touch my computer at all for 2 days.

What did I do? I read. I wrote up a list of books that I wanted to read. I went to the library. I went to shows. I went on a great date with my boyfriend, complete with dinner, bowling and an arcade.

I watched movies. I talked to friends. I took pictures. I took BUBBLE BATHS.

I really, finally, paid attention to life. My eyes weren't glued to the computer screen.

So from now on, I'll post when I feel like it. But I won't post every single day, unless I feel like doing it. I'll comment on blogs, but if the post doesn't interest me, I might not. I'm not going to wear myself out sorting through 100 blogs. Some nights I sit here for hours commenting, and for what? 10 people commenting me.
It doesn't add up, and it doesn't matter to me anymore.

Now my posts will be relevant. They'll have more substance. Why? Because it won't be something crammed together in 10 minutes.

This weekend was my awakening. And it all started with these:My boyfriend took time out of his life to appreciate me, to send me beautiful flowers.
So I need to do the same for myself. I need to stop being consumed in the electronic universe, and start really appreciating myself and the world around me.

Read more books, talk to more people. Go out more, do more things.

So honestly, my blog will be my place. When I feel I have something to say, I will say it. If you have something to say that I actually care about, I'll let you know.

But this will not run my world anymore.

Real life will.

Break Time

My hair is f#$%ing purple, my face is covered in cysts (and so is my back), the flowers Drew sent from Proflowers had FECAL MATTER on them (WHICH WAS ON MY FINGERS AND I CAN STILL SMELL IT), my grandmother passed away, I'm putting up 70 articles on my dad's website...

I need a break.

Just a few days. Stress free. No commitment to anything.

So I'm going to take a break.

I'll be back on Monday.
I need it.

Plus, MY HAIR IS F#&%ING PURPLE.
PURPLE.
PURPLE.

My Favorite Superbowl Commercial

I'm still laughing. That commercial was ridiculous.

Figured I'd post something funny. Nothing much has happened today. More class, more quizzes.
They're holding a memorial service for my grandmother, but it's snowing so hard and we're so broke we couldn't make it.

So it's nice to laugh.

Made my mom laugh when I told her I felt uncomfortable getting undressed to take a shower because I felt like my grandma was watching me naked.

It's true.

My Weekend in Review

I don't exactly know how to start this post, since the last post was really upsetting to me.

My grandmother passed away early Friday morning after being in hospice since December.

I haven't cried. I've barely thought about it.

Not because I don't care. It's because I refuse to believe it happened.

My Lala was so full of life. I can still remember the way she laughed. The way she smiled. I always remembered her with a cigarette in her hand, and the way she called my mom "Susie" in that thick accent.

It's hard to imagine that someone that full of life could be gone. It's so hard for me. It's even worse for the rest of my family.

My mom has been stoic, but deep down I know that she is really distressed. I'm worried about my Grandfather, because my Lala was his entire life.

It feels like the core of our family is gone, and now we're aimless. We used to always go to Lala's house whenever we would go to Tennessee. Now what? Where do we go when my grandpa doesn't have it?

On top of that, we've had to do a lot with electronics this weekend.

I had to go get a new laptop. So now I have this:

I also had to get a new phone, so I got this one:It's the Samsung Rogue. I also bought screen protectors and a pink case to protect the phone.
I had to pay $132 out of pocket for it all. Which really sucked.

But that was my weekend.

Oh, and I updated TheJerryFink.com. So make sure you check it out.

Rest in Peace

My grandmother passed away this early this morning.
Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Looking Up

Made my week so much better. He shipped it over to me from the U.K.! It's so beautiful and detailed in person. I can't wait to frame it and hang it!

I also got my business cards today, and they look great. :) Plus I got my webcam repaired "remotely" by Geeksquad, and had a new phone ordered and shipped to me.

But the verizon bi... witch needed to mind her own business. I wanted a new model, so we were going to get a new model instead of the phone I have now. She pretty much did everything possible to convince my mom to not let me get the new model. She undermined me, and that really is not professional. I am due an upgrade, so she had no right to do that.

But hey, I got my cards, I got my picture, and I have just a little homework left to do.
Oh, and I hear Drew's getting me a surprise for Valentine's. Hopefully it's good!DAMNIT HE DIDN'T FIX IT.