Alright, "a bit" is an understatement.
I could make a happy puppy permanently depressed with the posts I've been unleashing on you guys.
So for one thing, I'd like to thank you guys for sticking with me through this hard time for me.Being a teenager, with my thoughts running wild and my hormones doing the same thing, sometimes I just have these issues. Almost everyone I've turned to for help in my life has admitted that at one time, they suffered the same fears as me.
But all of them had a moment where something finally clicked, and they knew there was a heaven. Or SOMETHING at least.
Last night was the worst night for me. I was crying, begging God to give me a sign that he existed. Of course nothing happened. God's not just going to pop up all of a sudden, "Heeeeeeeey Lee, never fear. Jesus is here!"
Yeah, not going to happen.
Well it might, if Jesus is really Buddy Jesus.
I finally crawled into bed and Tiffany squirmed onto my lap and quickly fell asleep.I picked up the TV remote so that I could watch some shows to get my mind off of my unanswered pleas to God.
I hit power, and nothing happened. Okay... I hit power again, nothing. I hit power 20 times, nothing.
Finally I gave up on this too, and I put the remote away. Suddenly, with no warning at all, the TV popped on.
My TV has to warm up for 5 seconds before it turns on, but it didn't this time. It just suddenly popped on, clear as day.
I don't know if this was a sign. But I've never, ever had trouble with my television. It seems to be a weird coincidence that the TV and remote would suddenly work again.
Just because I hit the power button 20 times doesn't mean it would work the 20th time. Something had to happen to make it work.
While my fear is still there, I have calmed down quite a bit.
This was the final piece of the "calm Lee down" puzzle.
The other pieces are:
A.) A quote saying "There is no evidence proving the non-existence of heaven. There are only people that ignore the proof that there is." I realized that that's completely true. There's absolutely NO evidence that heaven doesn't exist. There are only people that deny the proof that there is. Like the scientists that try to explain near death experiences.
B.) EVERYONE I know believes in life after death, and almost every single one of them has had an experience where they either saw heaven, or felt the presence of God.
C.) All of the near death experiences I've read online, plus the ones that my friends and family have told me.
D.) My logical mind. There's no way earth is here on accident. There's no way all of these near death experiences were made up, ESPECIALLY the out of body experiences.
Yeah, I still have this fear. Yeah, it's still going to give me trouble. But I think the worst part is behind me.
At least, I hope so.
Also, how do you guys like the new layout? I wanted Alice in Wonderland... I don't know when I turned to Dark Knight instead. But I did...
I'm mad though, because the little icon I made to go by my posts isn't showing up. And I worked hard on it!
Frickin' adorable little joker guy, how I adore thee.Anyway, Drew's going to be here in a few minutes. We're going to play Yugioh. Yay!
10 comments:
Love the new layout. And all your evidence is the same evidence I believe.
First--I went back and read all of your posts I missed. Sorry. I have been have "one of those weeks".
Second--I know there is a God. I know that he hears and answers prayers. Sometimes He anserws them within minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes days, sometimes weeks and sometimes years. He knows the desires of your heart Lee!!
Cute layout!
Yes, I would say the tv is a sign.
Very cute layout.
Believing is hard and trusting is the other hard part. Especially, when we seem to be living in a time in which be a believer is considered 'wrong' or 'illogical'.
Good Luck!
I like the new layout. Joker is cute. I'm also very glad you are dealing with the whole death thing better and all. :) ::hugs::
The new layout is cute! I'm glad you're getting through it all!
Hello Lee, I've written a long-winded few years of my own at http://onemancan.ca - some of which believes, some of which also speaks to belief beyond what most in church accept. It was never a fun road, but the truth is, once God's got you, it never lets you go. Gotta make peace with it somehow. :)
I love your layout!
And I know some people have very scientific minds, and want to know with scientific evidence whether there is a heaven, but heaven doesn't work that way. Heaven works by faith. And I have faith. I have faith that there is an afterlife and a God who loves us.
Good luck to you my dear.
This is what is SO great about your life Lee, is that you get to find out for yourself if there's a god! How awesome is that? You're not forced into a mold that tells you you must believe this way and that all other ways are wrong.
You take that sign and make it your own girl!
That's neat about your TV situation right after you prayed for a sign. I believe God loves us so much and takes a personal interest in us that if we seek Him, he does reveal himself to us--one way or another. Here's one of my special God moments that I posted about you may find interesting:
http://karenzemek.blogspot.com/2009/02/day-dad-died-god-gave-me-special-cat.html
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