Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Skin Matters

As most of you know, I've been struggling with acne pretty much my entire teenage life.

For the past 7 years I've dealt with breakouts that were mild, and some so painful that I would cry looking in the mirror.

Recently I developed a lot of cysts and acne that was completely unmanageable.
I could not move my face or smile/frown because it would painfully twinge one of my cysts.

When people think of acne, they automatically relate it to being unclean. This is a very unfair assumption. I clean my face 2-3 times a day, depending on whether I'm wearing makeup or not.

For a while my skin was doing okay. It was not clear, but it was manageable. But then I had to switch birth control, and my topical medicine was not working anymore.

Long story short, this was my skin on February 12.Yeah, that bad.

It is embarrassing when you can't feel comfortable leaving the house without make. I didn't even feel comfortable leaving the house WITH makeup.

Makeup only goes so far to cover up the redness.

I stopped taking my birth control and started using this:My doctor suggested all of them. I thought the last two were weird, but after only a few weeks my skin is looking a lot better.

It's not perfect, not by a long shot. I've got redness to fade and a few tiny leftover breakouts to clear. But if I had to leave the house right now, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Unless it really is the end of the world right now... then yeah. It'd be the end of the world.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Peter Facihottie

Because I work for an entertainment website, oftentimes I have to go out and cover different events.

I don't care if it's for my dad. I get a press pass. YOU DON'T GET A PRESS PASS!

While it's cool to see local celebrities going down the carpet in front of the media line, it can get very boring very fast to always see the same faces.

Trust me, seeing Criss Angel and Carrot Top a hundred times is not much of a treat.

I squished myself into the press line, full of photographers and interviewers, and grabbed the best spot that I could to do my duty.

Trust me, it can get really crowded when hundreds of people are crammed behind a few velvet ropes.

I figured that I would snap a few pictures of the local celebs, and then go off and mingle or get a drink. Anything to numb the boring pain that the locals tend to cause.

Imagine my surprise when Peter Facinelli turned the corner with his wife.I. Died.

For those of you that don't know, Peter Facinelli plays Dr. Cullen in the Twilight movies.In other words, he's like Twilight royalty to those of us that are fans.

I'll admit it. I squealed. I squealed like a little pig being chased around a farm.

I started rapidly snapping pictures, hoping to get the perfect glimpse of him. My camera is rather wimpy compared to the other photographers, and they're rather bulky. So I was standing on my tip-toes trying to shoot over their heads.

But I did get some good shots, even if they are only profile.

After he walked away, none other than Neil Patrick Harris walked up.Once again, I squealed. I just couldn't help myself. I don't care if he's gay, he's sexy.

Once again, snap snap snap taking pictures. I was loving every minute of it. I got some better shots of Neil than I did of Peter.

Then who showed up? Perez Hilton.

He's kind of a douche. I wanted to take a picture with him later, and he snubbed me to take a picture with one of his little blonde bimbo friends. Jerk.

I also saw Taye Diggs. He is HOT.Of course the list goes on and on of cool celebrities that came my way. It was a very good night.

Now I've got a lot of schoolwork to do, and barely enough time to do it. I have two assignments due on Wednesday, both I haven't started. (I didn't even know we had them.)

I have a group paper due next Thursday, which I would be working on now except NONE of my group has told me WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO. I am NOT going to fail this because of them, so I'm considering sitting down and writing an entire paper by myself, and letting them plug their things into it so that I KNOW it will be done.

I'm tired of people that aren't motivated. It is infuriating.

I bought some new clothes this weekend, and my mom is going to get me a Bluetooth so I can talk on my phone hands-free again.

This week is going to be way too busy, with not enough time.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

"Miss J"

This week has been nice. Really.

It's been less stressful. More me-time, more friend-time.

Of course, the whole "walk into class on Tuesday only to realize there's a test you didn't study for" thing didn't help with the stress. But I guessed my ass off and pulled an 8/10.

I'm a good guesser.

We have a group paper due in two weeks. I really hate group papers. I don't hate working with other people. I simply hate resting my grade on someone else. I want credit for my work and my competence, no one else.

We have been working in the studio in the radio class. We've been working on our "DJ" personality. We simply have to know how to speak like a radio DJ. It varies based on the format of station you're speaking for, but the basic concept is the same.

For whatever reason, I decided to go with "Hot 97.5." My teacher said we have to have "attitude" when doing a station like this. I had to create a "DJ" name, so I went with "Miss J" for absolutely no reason.

I didn't think about "Miss J" from America's Next Top Model until I had already taken the plunge, and even then my friend pointed it out before I noticed. There was no going back.

Now whenever I say "You're listening to Miss J," I imagine myself as a cross-dressing man with amazing legs and an attitude.As if this wasn't bad enough, my Professor told me I should do a "sassy snap" after I say my name.

I lost it. I was laughing too hard. I started yelling about being a transvestite, and blamed my friend Heather for reminding me of Miss J from ANTM. Everyone in the class was laughing hysterically, including the Professor.

I got it together, did my thing and got through it without stumbling over anything.

It went a little something like this:

"You're listening to HOT 97.5, your music all day, everyday.
I'm Miss J *sassy snap*, and you just heard Poker Face by Lady Gaga.
Coming up on June 2nd the Running Rebels will be having a charity event at the Thomas and Mack arena.
There's going to be lots of special guests and fun, so make sure you come on down to support Saint Jude Children's Hospital!
You can get tickets at
Don't turn that dial, you're listening to Miss J *sassy snap* on HOT 98.9, the music you want, all day, everyday."

And then everyone applauded.
No, really. Everyone applauded.

I'm surprised I got through it. The first time I "sassy snapped," I could see the professor laughing hysterically through the glass. But I just rolled with it.

I stayed after with my friends to practice more.I feel like a real DJ when I'm in front of the mic. It's really fun.

While practicing I said something remarkably stupid.

"You're listening to 87.9, Las Vegas' classic music station.
You just heard Beethoven's symphony.
Would you like to win ticket's to Beethoven's conce...eeee...rr... wait."

There's no recovering from that.

I am learning recovery though.

"We'll be at Mood nightclub tonight for ladies night!
We'll be setting up at around 8 AM... well wait, 8 AM is too early for a nightclub!
We'll be there at 8 PM!"

Oh yeah, I'm smooth.

I have recordings of myself with music doing this, so maybe I can find a way to show you.

You're listening to Miss J on, today's hottest blog from yesterday and today.

Monday, February 15, 2010

My Realization

I've realized now, after taking this break over the weekend, that my blog has become less a place for me to enjoy myself, and more a place that I feel obligated to maintain.

Blogs shouldn't be popularity contests.

I was always trying for the most comments. If I didn't crack 10, I was disappointed.

Sometimes I would even delete a post if it didn't get much attention.
I would come home at night, exhausted, wanting to just lay down and not do anything. I work, go to school, work my second job (as webmaster), deal with friends, boyfriends, family, exercise.
So even when I just wanted to lay down, I felt obligated to sign on and write something.

It shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't feel forced into posting.
This all came to after the freedom I felt this weekend. I wasn't obligated. I was nothing. I did what I wanted. I barely ever touched the computer. I actually didn't touch my computer at all for 2 days.

What did I do? I read. I wrote up a list of books that I wanted to read. I went to the library. I went to shows. I went on a great date with my boyfriend, complete with dinner, bowling and an arcade.

I watched movies. I talked to friends. I took pictures. I took BUBBLE BATHS.

I really, finally, paid attention to life. My eyes weren't glued to the computer screen.

So from now on, I'll post when I feel like it. But I won't post every single day, unless I feel like doing it. I'll comment on blogs, but if the post doesn't interest me, I might not. I'm not going to wear myself out sorting through 100 blogs. Some nights I sit here for hours commenting, and for what? 10 people commenting me.
It doesn't add up, and it doesn't matter to me anymore.

Now my posts will be relevant. They'll have more substance. Why? Because it won't be something crammed together in 10 minutes.

This weekend was my awakening. And it all started with these:My boyfriend took time out of his life to appreciate me, to send me beautiful flowers.
So I need to do the same for myself. I need to stop being consumed in the electronic universe, and start really appreciating myself and the world around me.

Read more books, talk to more people. Go out more, do more things.

So honestly, my blog will be my place. When I feel I have something to say, I will say it. If you have something to say that I actually care about, I'll let you know.

But this will not run my world anymore.

Real life will.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Break Time

My hair is f#$%ing purple, my face is covered in cysts (and so is my back), the flowers Drew sent from Proflowers had FECAL MATTER on them (WHICH WAS ON MY FINGERS AND I CAN STILL SMELL IT), my grandmother passed away, I'm putting up 70 articles on my dad's website...

I need a break.

Just a few days. Stress free. No commitment to anything.

So I'm going to take a break.

I'll be back on Monday.
I need it.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My Favorite Superbowl Commercial

I'm still laughing. That commercial was ridiculous.

Figured I'd post something funny. Nothing much has happened today. More class, more quizzes.
They're holding a memorial service for my grandmother, but it's snowing so hard and we're so broke we couldn't make it.

So it's nice to laugh.

Made my mom laugh when I told her I felt uncomfortable getting undressed to take a shower because I felt like my grandma was watching me naked.

It's true.

Monday, February 8, 2010

My Weekend in Review

I don't exactly know how to start this post, since the last post was really upsetting to me.

My grandmother passed away early Friday morning after being in hospice since December.

I haven't cried. I've barely thought about it.
Not because I don't care. It's because I refuse to believe it happened.

My Lala was so full of life. I can still remember the way she laughed. The way she smiled. I always remembered her with a cigarette in her hand, and the way she called my mom "Susie" in that thick accent.

It's hard to imagine that someone that full of life could be gone. It's so hard for me. It's even worse for the rest of my family.

My mom has been stoic, but deep down I know that she is really distressed. I'm worried about my Grandfather, because my Lala was his entire life.

It feels like the core of our family is gone, and now we're aimless. We used to always go to Lala's house whenever we would go to Tennessee. Now what? Where do we go when my grandpa doesn't have it?

On top of that, we've had to do a lot with electronics this weekend.

I had to go get a new laptop. So now I have this:
I also had to get a new phone, so I got this one:It's the Samsung Rogue. I also bought screen protectors and a pink case to protect the phone.
I had to pay $132 out of pocket for it all. Which really sucked.

But that was my weekend.

Oh, and I updated So make sure you check it out.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Rest in Peace

My grandmother passed away this early this morning.
Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Looking Up

Made my week so much better. He shipped it over to me from the U.K.! It's so beautiful and detailed in person. I can't wait to frame it and hang it!

I also got my business cards today, and they look great. :) Plus I got my webcam repaired "remotely" by Geeksquad, and had a new phone ordered and shipped to me.

But the verizon bi... witch needed to mind her own business. I wanted a new model, so we were going to get a new model instead of the phone I have now. She pretty much did everything possible to convince my mom to not let me get the new model. She undermined me, and that really is not professional. I am due an upgrade, so she had no right to do that.

But hey, I got my cards, I got my picture, and I have just a little homework left to do.
Oh, and I hear Drew's getting me a surprise for Valentine's. Hopefully it's good!DAMNIT HE DIDN'T FIX IT.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I really despise homework.

My Philosophy teacher doesn't really give it. He gives homework, but not for a grade. It's for personal review.
And I just reminded myself that I have philosophy homework to do, too. Awesome.

Right now I have a paper due, homework exercises, a homework assignment, three tests next week... too much.I just finished one of them. So this is what my daily planner looks like:
Monday - Philosophy Test 1 AND Test 2
Philosophy Homework Problems (50)
Journalism Homework Problems
Tuesday - Journalism Chapter 3 Quiz
Wednesday - Journalism Homework
Thursday - Journalism Paper Due

There's a lot to get done. But the bold ones are already finished or 4/5 of the way done. And the italicized ones are just things I need to study. So actually I only have two assignments that haven't been touched, and one of them isn't even for a grade.

I'm really hoping that I can keep everything in order.

The school financial office had the nerve to call me today and tell me that I am being switched to "regents." This means that instead of being paid by the national government, I will be paid by the state.
Which means I will be screwed, because the state is bleeding for money.
They have the NERVE to try and switch me to state pay the day after a highly publicized meeting on our campus by the board of regents that CUT 22% OF THE SCHOOL'S STATE FUNDING?

They said it's because I have a "low need." Excuse me. My father lost his job. I have more need now than when I started working. Don't EVEN try and pull that with me. My mom's gonna cut a butcher she's so angry about it.
I have a feeling I won't be in this job after a few months. They'll pull some bull and I'll just leave. I don't have time to deal with it.

Now I need to ask those of you on Facebook to do me a big favor.
Since my dad lost his job, soon we won't have an income. That's why our website is so important. We need readers, or at least to seem like we have readers, so that we can get people to buy advertising space from us.

What I need ya'll to do will only take a few minutes at most.
If you aren't a fan of on Facebook, please become one. Do so by visiting the page HERE and clicking on "Become a Fan."

If you're already a fan or become one, please click on "Suggest to Friends" under the logo. Select as many friends as you want and send the invitation. If they become fans, great. If not, at least you tried. But we need more fans.

Any help is appreciated, and it really only takes 5 minutes to do at the most. :)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Work Advice

Alright, so I need some advice.

I'm not going to name names, because that's pointless. If the person I'm talking about reads my blog... well, I don't see why they would really. And if they do, I'm just being honest. I already told them how I feel, so this is nothing new.

I have recently been having trouble with a co-worker.
The co-worker often rags on me and puts me down, sometimes in front of people we're helping. They acts like it's a joke, and that they don't mean it, but when it's constantly coming at me it really wears at my nerves.
An incident occurred last week where I felt sick and had a migraine because it was "that time of the month."

My co-worker came up to me and told me how to do something, even though they knew I knew how to do it. So they weren't really trying to help, they were trying to boss me around. Just in a more subtle, condescending way.

I told the co-worker that I know how to do it, that they don't need to tell me. Out of 50,000 signatures, if I forgot to do one, you could at least just say, "Hey Lee, you forgot to put this. No big deal, just thought I'd let you know."
But when you come over and sort of condescendingly tell me how to do it, even though it's a basic thing, that's rude.

I told them that I was in pain and that I didn't need to be told how to do it. The co-worker told me that I needed to "leave my personal problems at home."

I am diagnosed by a doctor with migraines, which I had and said that I had. And I had cramps and other womanly issues.I was keeping to myself and doing my work and this person came into my space to tell me I did something wrong, that wasn't even something really important. It was nothing that would really effect anything. Honestly.

And by the way, if I say I'm in pain you shouldn't keep hounding on me. The fact that I almost had to say, "I'M ON MY F---ING PERIOD, LEAVE ME ALONE." Is not okay. When someone is repeating that they are in pain, it's never okay to continue to hound them because you think you're "right."

Being told to "leave my personal problems at home" really burned me. I didn't come crying into work because my boyfriend dumped me or something. I was in physical pain. The only reason I came to work was because I had to go to class that day. I was getting my work done, too. So I wasn't just sitting on my ass. I was just keeping to myself. I wasn't even sitting around complaining. I didn't even mention it until someone invaded my personal space.

A few minutes later my supervisor asked me to work on a project for her, and told me if anyone asked me to do something to tell them I couldn't because I was doing something for her.

So as I'm working on the project, this co-worker walked over to me and asked/told me to put someone on a reading test. They very well could have taken the 30 seconds to do it, and didn't need to walk over and ask me to do it.

I was already irritated with them, and I told them no, that I was working on something. They tried to get me to do it anyway by handing over the person's cellphone. I put the phone away, but would not put the person on the test.

This was not just me being stubborn. I was told to do something by a supervisor, so I was following what I was told. Supervisor trumps same-level co-worker.

This same co-worker said it was "wrong" of my supervisor to tell me to do something and have me "not help" everyone else. Excuse me, the front desk was NOT busy. The person you were supposed to put on was the ONLY PERSON IN LINE. And my supervisor is my supervisor, she can tell me to do whatever she wants.

The co-worker later said that the other supervisor told them to ask me to put her on the test. Well, you never told me that, and I still would have told you no because there were 3 other people sitting right there that could do it and I was already doing something for a supervisor.

Me and this co-worker off and on talk to each other friendly, but at the same time I dread the moment that they'll once again say something hurtful. When I'm working on something and they come up to me and ask what "stupid stuff" I'm working on, and say that I'm "not doing anything" when I'm trying to work, it's irritating. "You're not doing anything, don't lie. You're not doing anything."

I was talking to someone today and when my co-worker walked up I stopped talking because it was a private conversation. The co-worker rudely told me to "keep talking. Go on, keep talking."

I tried just letting it go. But when it comes to the point that you contemplate quitting your job because you feel bullied, it's ridiculous. I never wanted to talk to the boss, because I am NOT a tattler.Sometimes I get so stressed that I almost break down and cry. Today me and the co-worker got into it again about it being a "personal problem." I told them that everyone has bad days and that they need to cut me some slack. I have NEVER snapped before, but they pushed my buttons knowingly. They said that it's not an "excuse."
You are not my supervisor, you don't need to be telling me what to do in the first place. Let alone lecturing me on what's "proper in the workplace".

Yeah, they told me that that's "not okay in the workplace." Seriously. You're not my boss. You can't be lecturing me. It's not proper in the workplace to constantly put your co-worker down, either. So why do you keep doing it?

I work hard at my job and I do it to the best of my ability. With classes, running my dad's website, this job and my grandmother on her deathbed, I have enough stress going on. I don't need to fear coming in to work to feel like my self esteem is going to go down.

I already talked with this co-worker once and told them that the way they always put me down hurts my feelings. They said they would stop, but they have just gotten worse.
Since that didn't work, I don't know what I should do. Quit? Talk to the boss? Suck it up?

I'm TOUGH when it comes to people making fun of me. When they called me Ginger I laughed with them up until them trying to completely replace my name with it. I drew the line there. And yes, they call me Jerri now. I laugh if I slip up and someone's like "Jeese Lee!" But when I don't even do anything wrong and you put me down repeatedly, it's too much.

It was not my fault today that I had to sit at the furthest computer at the front desk, and from that computer it is nearly impossible to see in your peripheral vision when someone is waiting in line. That doesn't mean that when I didn't see someone standing there you had to go "Uh, hello?" and when I turned to look give me a face like I'm an idiot. Three times.

So what do I do? I'm only 17. This is my first job. I just don't know. My mom said talk to the boss, but you all have had experience in the workplace before. What do YOU think I should do?

(Note: I didn't acknowledge gender or name at all. So if they happen across this post, I swear they were looking for it. And I didn't lie, so I don't care.)


Um... right. So, what should I do?

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Cut Down

I cut down my work hours to 18 a week.
I was working 23. This will give me time to work on my radio projects and other homework, plus spend a little more time with my mom.

I've been working on my dad's website. I ordered business cards for my dad AND for myself. Because I've always wanted to buy my own business cards. They'll look like this:Except with my name, my email, and my NOT scribbled out phone number.
It's exciting.

I'm going to feel compelled to give everyone my card.
I got them from I got everything for about $18. My dad got 500 cards, and I got 250.
I also got magnetic signs to go on the side of my dad's car.

I'm hoping with at least a little more advertising, we'll get some more traffic. I really need people to help me advertise, but no one is and I'm scared we're going to fail.

Since my dad lost his job at the paper, I'm worried that we're going to be in the hole and I won't be able to go to college. We can't get advertising for the site until we get more readers, and we won't have an income without advertising.

Gah. At least I cut down my hours. I have a test tomorrow! Wish me luck! It's journalism... so it's hard.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...