Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Work Advice

Alright, so I need some advice.

I'm not going to name names, because that's pointless. If the person I'm talking about reads my blog... well, I don't see why they would really. And if they do, I'm just being honest. I already told them how I feel, so this is nothing new.

I have recently been having trouble with a co-worker.
The co-worker often rags on me and puts me down, sometimes in front of people we're helping. They acts like it's a joke, and that they don't mean it, but when it's constantly coming at me it really wears at my nerves.
An incident occurred last week where I felt sick and had a migraine because it was "that time of the month."

My co-worker came up to me and told me how to do something, even though they knew I knew how to do it. So they weren't really trying to help, they were trying to boss me around. Just in a more subtle, condescending way.

I told the co-worker that I know how to do it, that they don't need to tell me. Out of 50,000 signatures, if I forgot to do one, you could at least just say, "Hey Lee, you forgot to put this. No big deal, just thought I'd let you know."
But when you come over and sort of condescendingly tell me how to do it, even though it's a basic thing, that's rude.

I told them that I was in pain and that I didn't need to be told how to do it. The co-worker told me that I needed to "leave my personal problems at home."

I am diagnosed by a doctor with migraines, which I had and said that I had. And I had cramps and other womanly issues.I was keeping to myself and doing my work and this person came into my space to tell me I did something wrong, that wasn't even something really important. It was nothing that would really effect anything. Honestly.

And by the way, if I say I'm in pain you shouldn't keep hounding on me. The fact that I almost had to say, "I'M ON MY F---ING PERIOD, LEAVE ME ALONE." Is not okay. When someone is repeating that they are in pain, it's never okay to continue to hound them because you think you're "right."

Being told to "leave my personal problems at home" really burned me. I didn't come crying into work because my boyfriend dumped me or something. I was in physical pain. The only reason I came to work was because I had to go to class that day. I was getting my work done, too. So I wasn't just sitting on my ass. I was just keeping to myself. I wasn't even sitting around complaining. I didn't even mention it until someone invaded my personal space.

A few minutes later my supervisor asked me to work on a project for her, and told me if anyone asked me to do something to tell them I couldn't because I was doing something for her.

So as I'm working on the project, this co-worker walked over to me and asked/told me to put someone on a reading test. They very well could have taken the 30 seconds to do it, and didn't need to walk over and ask me to do it.

I was already irritated with them, and I told them no, that I was working on something. They tried to get me to do it anyway by handing over the person's cellphone. I put the phone away, but would not put the person on the test.

This was not just me being stubborn. I was told to do something by a supervisor, so I was following what I was told. Supervisor trumps same-level co-worker.

This same co-worker said it was "wrong" of my supervisor to tell me to do something and have me "not help" everyone else. Excuse me, the front desk was NOT busy. The person you were supposed to put on was the ONLY PERSON IN LINE. And my supervisor is my supervisor, she can tell me to do whatever she wants.

The co-worker later said that the other supervisor told them to ask me to put her on the test. Well, you never told me that, and I still would have told you no because there were 3 other people sitting right there that could do it and I was already doing something for a supervisor.

Me and this co-worker off and on talk to each other friendly, but at the same time I dread the moment that they'll once again say something hurtful. When I'm working on something and they come up to me and ask what "stupid stuff" I'm working on, and say that I'm "not doing anything" when I'm trying to work, it's irritating. "You're not doing anything, don't lie. You're not doing anything."

I was talking to someone today and when my co-worker walked up I stopped talking because it was a private conversation. The co-worker rudely told me to "keep talking. Go on, keep talking."

I tried just letting it go. But when it comes to the point that you contemplate quitting your job because you feel bullied, it's ridiculous. I never wanted to talk to the boss, because I am NOT a tattler.Sometimes I get so stressed that I almost break down and cry. Today me and the co-worker got into it again about it being a "personal problem." I told them that everyone has bad days and that they need to cut me some slack. I have NEVER snapped before, but they pushed my buttons knowingly. They said that it's not an "excuse."
You are not my supervisor, you don't need to be telling me what to do in the first place. Let alone lecturing me on what's "proper in the workplace".

Yeah, they told me that that's "not okay in the workplace." Seriously. You're not my boss. You can't be lecturing me. It's not proper in the workplace to constantly put your co-worker down, either. So why do you keep doing it?

I work hard at my job and I do it to the best of my ability. With classes, running my dad's website, this job and my grandmother on her deathbed, I have enough stress going on. I don't need to fear coming in to work to feel like my self esteem is going to go down.

I already talked with this co-worker once and told them that the way they always put me down hurts my feelings. They said they would stop, but they have just gotten worse.
Since that didn't work, I don't know what I should do. Quit? Talk to the boss? Suck it up?

I'm TOUGH when it comes to people making fun of me. When they called me Ginger I laughed with them up until them trying to completely replace my name with it. I drew the line there. And yes, they call me Jerri now. I laugh if I slip up and someone's like "Jeese Lee!" But when I don't even do anything wrong and you put me down repeatedly, it's too much.

It was not my fault today that I had to sit at the furthest computer at the front desk, and from that computer it is nearly impossible to see in your peripheral vision when someone is waiting in line. That doesn't mean that when I didn't see someone standing there you had to go "Uh, hello?" and when I turned to look give me a face like I'm an idiot. Three times.

So what do I do? I'm only 17. This is my first job. I just don't know. My mom said talk to the boss, but you all have had experience in the workplace before. What do YOU think I should do?

(Note: I didn't acknowledge gender or name at all. So if they happen across this post, I swear they were looking for it. And I didn't lie, so I don't care.)


Um... right. So, what should I do?


Anonymous said...

I've been lucky enough to have never had problems with a coworker like that, but I definitely think that you should bring it up to one of the supervisors. Maybe you could find some way to casually bring it up so it doesn't feel like tattling?

Anonymous said...

What an ass. I hate that there are bullies all through life. And yes, it does come down to: they have low self esteem and are bossing you around because it makes them feel better about yourself.
This is why I love nannying. I don't have to deal with coworkers.
I'm sorry this person is being a jerk. They are out of line. I would see what other jobs are available on campus and when you leave this job make sure you tell your supervisor why.

Sheri said...

Well, I've had some really bad work experiences (one I'm in now is not ideal but it is a job)...

That being said... I think this jerk of a co-worker is taking advantage of you and bullying you - that is NOT okay in the workplace at any level. I would suggest talking to the supervisor about it since it is bothering you and he is being unprofessional.

You should never feel that stressed over a part time job where you want to cry and quit. Trust me on this. It is not worth it.

::hugs:: I hope it works out and the ass maybe gets fired or moved so you two do not work together anymore. :)

Teri said...

I wouldn't quit without talking to your boss first. You seem okay calling the co-worker on their BS, way to go I'd probably just sit and stew...but I think you need to take it to the next level!

Jillene said...

This sounds like bullying to me too. Talk to you supervisor and express your concerns. I don't think that is tattling--it's expressing concerns that you have. No one should be treated this way--no one. Take care of it now so that you can be happy at work.

Anonymous said...

I think you need to say something to the boss. Just be honest and say that it's affecting your ability to work, and that although you like your job, you will be forced to give it up if it causes any more stress in your life. Good luck!

Kristina P. said...

It's not tattling to go to your boss. This is your first job, and you're still young, so I could see why you would have that mentality. This isn't OK.

Erin said...

Seriously, talk to the boss. It seems like the trick will be to just say it like it is, without pointing fingers necessarily.

Good luck to you!

Amander said...

Talk with your boss. It may not be as big of a deal as you think to bring it up. It's not tattling - it's making the work environment a decent place.

Let us know how it goes.

Wendyburd1 said...

Talk to that nice supervisor, that one sounds understanding and can help you figure out what you need to do about this wretched co-worker!

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't have a bit of a problem talking to a supervisor. Maybe it is tattling but some people deserve it. Bullying has become a big problem in the workplace. I haven't been through it (I can get quite a mouth on me and set people straight) but my husband has. It's best to take it through the chains of command. No one has a right to treat you that way at work.

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