Monday, February 15, 2010

My Realization

I've realized now, after taking this break over the weekend, that my blog has become less a place for me to enjoy myself, and more a place that I feel obligated to maintain.

Blogs shouldn't be popularity contests.

I was always trying for the most comments. If I didn't crack 10, I was disappointed.

Sometimes I would even delete a post if it didn't get much attention.
I would come home at night, exhausted, wanting to just lay down and not do anything. I work, go to school, work my second job (as webmaster), deal with friends, boyfriends, family, exercise.
So even when I just wanted to lay down, I felt obligated to sign on and write something.

It shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't feel forced into posting.
This all came to after the freedom I felt this weekend. I wasn't obligated. I was nothing. I did what I wanted. I barely ever touched the computer. I actually didn't touch my computer at all for 2 days.

What did I do? I read. I wrote up a list of books that I wanted to read. I went to the library. I went to shows. I went on a great date with my boyfriend, complete with dinner, bowling and an arcade.

I watched movies. I talked to friends. I took pictures. I took BUBBLE BATHS.

I really, finally, paid attention to life. My eyes weren't glued to the computer screen.

So from now on, I'll post when I feel like it. But I won't post every single day, unless I feel like doing it. I'll comment on blogs, but if the post doesn't interest me, I might not. I'm not going to wear myself out sorting through 100 blogs. Some nights I sit here for hours commenting, and for what? 10 people commenting me.
It doesn't add up, and it doesn't matter to me anymore.

Now my posts will be relevant. They'll have more substance. Why? Because it won't be something crammed together in 10 minutes.

This weekend was my awakening. And it all started with these:My boyfriend took time out of his life to appreciate me, to send me beautiful flowers.
So I need to do the same for myself. I need to stop being consumed in the electronic universe, and start really appreciating myself and the world around me.

Read more books, talk to more people. Go out more, do more things.

So honestly, my blog will be my place. When I feel I have something to say, I will say it. If you have something to say that I actually care about, I'll let you know.

But this will not run my world anymore.

Real life will.

13 comments:

owner said...

Love it.

TeeTee said...

i really liked this post.
it sums up how i've been feeling for a looooong time! i feel like blogging has become an obligation for me, as well.... and that is not the way it should be!
i look forward to reading your posts when they come!

Kristina P. said...

And this is why I only blog once a week. I realized I was too busy looking for things to blog about, rather than living my life. I still read and comment on a lot of blogs, but when you have sometimes 8 hours of downtime at work, it's really not difficult.

Me (aka Danielle) said...

Good for you! It's easy to get caught up in the numbers and stats. I'm glad you were able to realize what's really important!

Kimmy said...

Good for you!!! That's the way it should be :O) Go and enjoy your life now!!

Amander said...

This is how blogging should be! Sometimes I have nothing to say for a week and sometimes I have ten things to say in a week. It's great :)

Mighty M said...

Me thinks we think alike! I've been doing the same. It is SO nice to just take a break.

Of course this week I have a ton of posts, but some weeks I won't have any and I won't comment much and that's OKAY!

Enjoy your freedom!!

Erin said...

Yay for you! I have been doing it this way too, since about the time I got too morning sick to get online. It's been wonderful.

I look forward to seeing what you write about in the future!

Liz said...

I don't blame you, Lee! I feel the same way about it sometimes. I almost stopped a few weeks ago then I remembered why I started blogging in the first place. Meeting friends has been a huge bonus but I really started as a way of journaling. Enjoy your time away from all this "modern technology"! I think you're doing the right thing!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Balance in all things.

Sheri said...

::applause::

Very glad you are awakened and taking more time for you! You will love it and really, people who comment, comment... those who don't want to (as you said too) don't. Don't make it run your life. :)

Hugs! Oh and by the way.... you won my Giveaway! Congrats :)

Grand Pooba said...

You definitely have the right idea. I always take a break when blogging becomes more like a chore. Blogging is supposed to be FUN, not an obligation.

Take all the breaks you need, I'll still be here when you come back.

RayeLee said...

Good for you!! That's how I feel/felt.

I think, that's one of the reasons I started myself a new blog. And why, I'm sitting here, trying to catch up on all of them. :)

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