Thursday, September 24, 2009

Unhealthy Obsession

Okay, this fear of death crap has got to stop.
Now.
Seriously.
You hear me God? Cut it out, because I'm tired of it.
Literally, I am TIRED of it.

I can't sleep at night thinking about this stuff. I go online and try to read things to make myself feel better, and then some psycho-mumbo jumbo jerk tells me that "death probably is THE end."
Wtf is wrong with you. Why can't you calm me down? Why did you have to make me start crying?
At first I didn't think about it at work, and now I do.
And at night, every night, which is why I'm tired. As I was passing out last night, I jolted awake three times with either a thought about death, or a feeling of hopelessness.
I'm going to a psychologist soon, but until then I'm still having to suffer with this.
I don't know what brought it on so strongly, I don't know how I'm going to make it go away.

Maybe... hmm...Awwwwww, puppies!!!
Didn't help.
Oye vey. If puppies can't help, I don't know what will.
But something needs to quick, or I may have to be committed.

(p.s. I filmed some solo "music video" stuff today. Maybe I'll edit it together for you guys...)

5 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm glad you find a psychologist.

I wonder if it has to do with your grandma.

Tim said...

I know this will sound easier said than done, but knowing God and trusting His will gives you the peace that passes all understanding.

This will not only ease the fear you have of death, but make you actually feel good about it.

Love and Prayers,

Tim

Thanks for voting for Will, I hope that now you have an account you will vote often. I didnt see your vote register, so maybe it just hasnt posted yet.

Sheri said...

I hope that talking it out with the therapist will help and that they can really help you. ::hugs::

Jessica♥ said...

if you still feel lost after all this advice, a threapist would be a great idea. =/

Yaya said...

I don't know what I would do without my therapist.

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