Monday, November 9, 2009

Is it cuz I'm fat?

I was sick all weekend, dripping into today.
Probably following me into tomorrow, too.

All of my friends automatically assumed I had swine flu.
Who knows? Maybe I do, and my flu shot has just lessened the effects. I have no idea. Another friend had a different idea.

The conversation went like this:
"Ugh, I've been sick all weekend."
"Oh that sucks. With what?"
"Well I've been nauseous, had a headache, really congested nose..."
"Dude, that sounds like you're pregnant."
"... um... yeah. Totally."
"No seriously, are you?"
"... no?"

Let's run down the whole pregnancy check list here.Nausea? Check!

Headache? Check!Runny nose? Check... but how is that in any way related to being pregnant?
Now, here's the biggie:Sex? NEVER. (You have NO IDEA how long it took to find an appropriate picture for "sex". I'm scarred for life now.)

Next time you want to accuse someone of being pregnant, make sure they're NOT A VIRGIN.

That's your lesson for the day.
Learn it, live it, never forget it. EVER.


Anonymous said...


Virgin Mary? ;)

Anonymous said...

That's kind of funny though...I hope you feel better soon!

Sarah said...

The runny nose is because when you get pregnant you usually get a cold because your immune system takes a break so as not to attack the "foreign" embryo growing inside.

It seems like people always say "maybe you're pregnant" response always was "Well, I have a .001 precent chance of that thanks to Ortho Evra :) That usually shut em' up. At any rate, hope you feel better!

Mighty M said...

You'd think they would just assume "flu" with all the flu that is going around right now!! Jeesh!!

Jillene said...

Who says that?! And good for you being a virgin. I waited until I was married and I am so glad that I did!!

Grand Pooba said...

Oh goodness, that's somewhere you NEVER go with any woman. Ever. Last thing you want to do is touch her belly and ask when she's due and find out she's not pregnant.

Sheri said...

lol you are nothing near fat! and really people should learn not to just assume things. Hope you get better soon!

Bobby G said...

While I was reading this I was like "Isnt she a virgin?" lol nice! that is key!!!

Kristina P. said...

Once I got married, every little thing meant I was pregnant.

Anonymous said...

Too funny! Hope you are feeling better!

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