QUICK, HIDE BEFORE HE SEES YOU!

Have you ever been in one of those situations where someone's at the door that you don't know, so you hide until they go away?
Well, I did that yesterday.
I was home alone, watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and the door rang.
Um, what? No one ever comes to our house.

So I go and look at the peep hole, and I see a guy standing there with a package.
Well, I know better than to answer the door when my mom isn't home, so I did what any sensible person would do.
I stood there, pressed against the door, staring out the peephole until Mr. Stranger went away.He finally just dropped the package on the step and left. I waited until I knew he was gone, and then I opened the door and grabbed the package.
Opened it, and it was a shirt from the Marines.
And then I realized who it was at the door.

A RECRUITER.
Oh god, oh god, oh god.
You see, that's not fair. The website said they'd send INFORMATION. Not information in the form of a PERSON.
Sneaky little bastards.
He obviously wasn't that determined to recruit me. He didn't leave a phone number or anything.
But man, I hope that's the only place that sends a person.
I do not need a bunch of representatives at my door.
"HERE'S YOUR ORDER OF CONDOMS. LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT SEX NOW."

Yes. I ordered condom samples. They were free. So sue me.

So far I've received a good amount of free things. I got one Navy T-shirt, one Mini-Backpack, one ring sizer, one copy of the New Testament, one maxipad, one book, one engraved tequila bottle label, one set of business cards.
Keep in mind, that's just this week. Everything I've ordered said 4-8 weeks, so I call all of these freebies the "early birds". If I got all of these early, imagine what's going to come on time.
Probably all my condoms.
Just sayin'.

Anyway, tomorrow my looks are going to be drastically changed... you'll see.
This is the last time you'll see plain ol' Lee!Mmm. Cake.