Friday, August 7, 2009

QUICK, HIDE BEFORE HE SEES YOU!

Have you ever been in one of those situations where someone's at the door that you don't know, so you hide until they go away?
Well, I did that yesterday.
I was home alone, watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and the door rang.
Um, what? No one ever comes to our house.

So I go and look at the peep hole, and I see a guy standing there with a package.
Well, I know better than to answer the door when my mom isn't home, so I did what any sensible person would do.
I stood there, pressed against the door, staring out the peephole until Mr. Stranger went away.He finally just dropped the package on the step and left. I waited until I knew he was gone, and then I opened the door and grabbed the package.
Opened it, and it was a shirt from the Marines.
And then I realized who it was at the door.

A RECRUITER.
Oh god, oh god, oh god.
You see, that's not fair. The website said they'd send INFORMATION. Not information in the form of a PERSON.
Sneaky little bastards.
He obviously wasn't that determined to recruit me. He didn't leave a phone number or anything.
But man, I hope that's the only place that sends a person.
I do not need a bunch of representatives at my door.
"HERE'S YOUR ORDER OF CONDOMS. LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT SEX NOW."

Yes. I ordered condom samples. They were free. So sue me.

So far I've received a good amount of free things. I got one Navy T-shirt, one Mini-Backpack, one ring sizer, one copy of the New Testament, one maxipad, one book, one engraved tequila bottle label, one set of business cards.
Keep in mind, that's just this week. Everything I've ordered said 4-8 weeks, so I call all of these freebies the "early birds". If I got all of these early, imagine what's going to come on time.
Probably all my condoms.
Just sayin'.

Anyway, tomorrow my looks are going to be drastically changed... you'll see.
This is the last time you'll see plain ol' Lee!Mmm. Cake.

14 comments:

Erin said...

I don't like answering the door. Or the phone. I'm anti-social like that.

You are going to have so much free loot, you won't even know where to put all of it.

Kristina P. said...

I will only answer the door if I am fully dressed, and I know who it is.

Can't wait to see the transformation.

Brandi said...

I've done that a few times before. I hardly ever answer my phone, either... My husband hates it!

Sheri said...

LOL I've done that a few times before too. Good thing you didn't answer or he would have tried to recruit you. They can be kind of pushy.

Amander said...

Just thinking of a "free condom representative" makes me laugh.

TeeTee said...

This post had me laughing... uncontrollably.

Wendyburd1 said...

I did that the other day when a delivery guy woke me up at 9am. Max was going crazy and I was a MESS so I hid, expecting him to LEAVE the package, bu he took it with him and left a note!! Dang it all!! It was my Dad's new phone too!

Yaya said...

Haha, I've totally ignored answering the door too and the people know I'm home but oh well. I'm antisocial like that.

Carmen said...

That's an interesting array of freebies! Have fun with them! lol

Jessica♥ said...

OMG I've done that DOZENS of times!!
Mostly it was when I knew the person but I really didn't like that person so I hid in my room. =]

Laila Of Course! said...

ahahaha, I loved this post. And gah, are you serious?! I guess there ARE risks to ordering free things! hehe.

Liz said...

I hardly ever answer the door unless I am expecting company. That is too funny that your freebie came with a person...LOL!

Kelsey said...

I Love it. You made me laugh myself into a coughing fit!

Grand Pooba said...

Condoms! Hahaha! You're like me, I'll take anything that's free! Doesn't matter what it is!

You crack me up, I always hide from people at the door that I don't know. I am a SUCKER for salesmen as you know!

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