Thursday, August 20, 2009

Tired of Holding My Tongue

Yeah, you know what? Time for a rant.
A big, long rant. Spurred on by the most inconsiderate "best friend" I've ever had.
That's you, Drew.

We've been friends before after breaking up. It worked great that last time. Worked great both times, actually. We're better friends than when we're dating.
But this time it was different. This time, it really hurt.
I told you if you wanted me to be your "best friend" again, you'd have to treat me like a princess.
Show me why I should bother sticking around. Why should I take the weeks of pain that are there until I can work past it and just be friends?
I've done it twice. But this time, it's iffy.

I mean first, you did that unspeakable thing to me. And I offered to wipe it away, but instead you broke up with me, so guess what? Still prevalent in my mind.
You've lied to me, broken promises, and many other things that a normal "best friend" isn't supposed to do.

Take tonight for instance. You promised me on Saturday that you wouldn't go ANYWHERE this week at night. ANYWHERE.
I don't care if we broke up, you still made that promise.
So where are you? "David's house".
Uh huh, yeah. So that's not going to work for me.

I warned you. The second that you cross me, I'm going to make your life a living hell.
I'm sure my readers will figure this justified. I mean, I'm giving you a chance to prove you can be a friend, and you're sh*tting all over it.
FOUR TIMES you've gone out with friends this week. FOUR.
"Dump my girlfriend... check. Go have a grand old time with my buddies... check."

Which is why, maybe I should take my readers advice. Maybe I SHOULD just drop you. Not have to have the stress of a person so inconsiderate to my feelings. A person that would leave me crying on the couch because he broke another promise.

I told you, Drew. You cross me even once and I will become the most vindictive, spiteful, evil person you have ever met.
This is just the beginning.
Let's hope this is the end of your carelessness.
Or else, babe, you're f*cked.

And yeah, I remember how you asked me to stop talking about you on my blog in a negative way.
But I asked you to stop lying and breaking promises.
So it's a trade-off.


Tim said...

I hate to say this Lee as much as I know you dont want to hear it, but its time to move on and quite trying to save something that just doesnt seem meant to be.

The second you forget him and leave him alone will also be the same second that he comes grying back to you. Stay strong and let him know that you are in control of this now not him!

Get on with your life and find someone new. This will really drive him nuts. And if it doesnt then you KNOW you did the right thing.

So ya, I guess Im one of those readers you spoke of, but you already knew that now didnt you.

We love you girl!

Love and Prayers,


Anonymous said...

I think that you really need to just move on from him. It sounds like a poisonous relationship that you would definitely be better off without. I have a good friend who was with this guy on and off for about 4 years and throughout those 4 years they'd have fights and break ups and get-back-togethers too often to count. And their relationship even got so bad that the guy was hitting her and destroying property of hers (such as backpacks and things). I don't know a better way to descirbe their relationship other than poisonous. I like both of them as people, but they were not good together. And she's still struggling to move on as it seems like you're having a hard time moving on (and staying moved on) from Drew. Not that I'm saying that the two relationships are the same, but I know my friend's was bad and from what I've read on your blog yours doesn't sound too good either. My friend even tried having a second boyfriend but that relationship didn't work out and I think it's because she hadn't move on enough from her previous guy. And I think that there's even a chance she might go back to him. Don't be like that. Recognize that being with Drew isn't good for you, even if you both are fine people, and move on. I hope you can make some sense of this comment...but yeah, I think right now you just need a long break from Drew. A break with no being friends or anything. (I don't know him personally and haven't even read his blog or anything, but I really do think that you need some space from him no matter what kind of guy he is)

Kristina P. said...

Lee, he is toxic. Dump his sorry arse!

TeeTee said...

I hope you feel better, and I hope you find someone even better than him.

Sarah said...

okay, I know I just commented but this is a different post so I'm allowed again right? I feel the need because I have been in this situation three times, all with guys I was with for 1+ years (up to 7 years). You have to ask yourself if this was a girl friend would you put up with this crap? Or, if it was a male friend that you never dated would you put up with it? Do you want friends that lie and are hurtful? That is not a friend. It seems like you are doing all of the work and you pick up the pieces while he's off having fun. I don't recommend moving on with someone else like Tim, rather moving on with YOURSELF. I took some much needed alone time after my last break-up and it wasn't until I did that that I fell in love with MYSELF! Only then was I able to fall in love with Sean. And as far as being vindictive and making Drew's life hell, it's a waste of energy because although it may make you feel better for that second, you'll probably feel worse in the long run AND it prevents you from letting go. I know you're probably sick of hearing everyone's two cents but it's only because we like you and know that you are someone that deserves so much better, and will get it once you stop settling for mediocre!

LaurieJ said...

It sucks to be with someone who you may be so compatible on some levels and then just nightmarish on others. Don't settle until you reach compatiable on all levels. You are so young and there are some great guys out there. And if it takes a couple of years to find them ,then take that time and find out more about yourself. Live a good life and find out what you really want and then be strong enough to go after it without some pansy hanging on to and draggin' you down!
Yep, I got a lotta opinions tonight :-)

Anonymous said...

You need to find yourself a MATURE boyfriend once college starts back up.

Wendyburd1 said...

He needs to go bye-bye from your life. He has hurt you over and over again and you keep forgiving him, but he is obviously not really interested in how you feel, and you need GOOD relationships on your life right now, dealing with the eating thing and the depression and everything. Just starting school again is going to be more stress, you don't need his crap. You are way more mature than he is and it is just time to cut the apron strings!!

Anonymous said...

Nice one Lee!
Tell him "You cross me, and I'll cut you!" haha.
But seriously. Tell him to suck it cause you don't need to be around his inconsiderate ass anymore.
Just plain old ignore him. That's what I'd do. =]

Lucy said...


Do the crying which you need and the ranting which I highly recommend AND make a clean break. Unfortunately, the "let's be friends" really never ever works. It is a shame you guys were best friends, tried to date and it didn't pan out.
Now, totally let it go. You have to TOTALLY let it go.

At moments you will still be sad, don't let him know it and don't take his calls.
Keep busy, very busy, whatever it takes. Don't rush into another relationship either, that never works.

Just have some fun, take your time getting over it, have your moments of crying and ranting BUT don't talk with him anymore, no more being friends, sorry to say that bridge has been burned.

Hang in there!!!

Jillene said...

Great post Lee. Now all you need to do is say goodbye for good. He is making you miserable and you don't deserve that.

ramsam said...

Oh girl there is some one out there for you who will treat you great and you will treat great and you will be able to work through thses things with dignity! It doens't seem like this guy is willing to do that!
Move is too short to be mad and miserable.
You are such a beautiful person!!!
I hope you are feeling better and ready to MOVE ON!

Bobby G said...

Why do you care again? Also as a friend, you are being kinda shitty yourself. if I was him I wouldnt want anyone talking to me like that. I however dont think he is a good friend to you. Ithink he has been way to shitty for way to long, get rid of him girl!!!!!

Grand Pooba said...

I think you just need some time apart. Seriously, take a week and just do your own thing and let him do his thing so that you both have time to think. Then you can tell if you miss him and want him back.

Anonymous said...

It's time to move on, Lee! Real friends don't treat each other that way. You need to go out and meet new people. It's been too much for too long and it may not be salvagable.

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