Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Letter to Santa

Fair warning, I have no pictures of the cookies. Why?
Because they're packed away for our own safety. I have been sustaining a healthy 129 pounds, and if those cookies are in my sight... I'll be a not so healthy 150 pounds within a week.
There's only one group of cookies that are not packed away.
It's the nasty fruitcake cookies.
Tell me, in all honesty, is fruitcake a joke? I've had a bite before. It's sticky, looks gross, smells good, but tastes... spicy? It's just not my cup of tea.I think I need to write a letter to Santa in order to reserve my place in line for an xbox.
Dear Santa Clause,
Hi, my name is Lee. You probably remember me. I'm the one that you gave socks to last year. Maybe that was an oversight, but I think I deserved more than socks.
I mean really? Socks? I never even wear socks. I wear high-heels and sandals.
I'm sure you've heard my cries out in the middle of the night... "XBOX! OH, OH XBOX! I NEED AN XBOX!" I'm sorry for that. It wasn't a concious thing. I was asleep the whole time.
Now I'm sure that you may think "Xbox? Girls don't need xboxes. They need dolls and makeup."
Well, this isn't true. I like blowing off the heads of aliens just as much as the next guy.
Infact, maybe more. Have you ever seen a girl PMSing? They're liable to really blow someone's head off. I've seen it happen before... or maybe I'm the one that did it.
Hey, he tried to take my last chocolate bar after I told him not to. You don't do that. Ever.
But I digress. I have been a great kid this year. Sure, sometimes I talked back to my mom, but who hasn't? I SAID THAT I CLEANED MY ROOM, STOP ASKING ME TO GO DO IT.
I never snuck out, I never did drugs. I got all my schoolwork done, and I got a B in algebra! (Did I forget to tell you guys that? Well... I got a B in algebra! Score!)
If you bring me an xbox, I'll be very happy. And you know what I look like when I'm happy?That's right, I look completely awesome. And I give you a thumbs up.
Now please Santa, please. Just take the time to consider this... don't I deserve an xbox just as much as anyone else? Plus I'll look GORGEOUS next to it.
I love you, Santa. But no more socks. Or I'll hunt you down.
xoxo,
Lee

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I don't know how Santa could resist this letter!

And we aren't even going to talk about what I have eaten today. Probably 5 pounds of sugar.

Erin said...

I just finished off a dozen cookies myself. But yeah, that fruitcake stuff is nasty.

Yeah, you would look gorgeous next to an x-box. Let's hope Santa was REALLY paying attention.

kel said...

I really hope that you get that x-box!!... and then I can come over and play it??

Kelsey said...

Socks from Santa are a big "no." In fact I'm pretty sure that if Santa gave me socks that would be the end of our relationship. Take that fat man.

I'm asking Santa for a car. The same car that I've been asking for for the past 3 years. Maybe he'll cave in this year? I hear they're pretty cheap to get on the sleigh this year..

Melissa said...

Seriously, socks?! What was Santa thinking? Do people still wear those?! Hope you get that Xbox this year!

I didn't have to worry about eating the cookies that Aiden and I made today because I burnt them. Oh yeah, all two dozen of them...

Mary said...

My husband has some kind of obsession with fruitcake...he looks forward to it all year. I say anything that makes that loud of a thud when set down, shouldn't be consumed.

Here's hoping you get your xbox...if so, you have to give me your gamertag!

Liz said...

Gross on the fruitcake. I have never like that stuff.

Maybe since you were soooo nice in your letter Santa will bring you the x-box.

Congrats on your B in algebra!

The Leijte's in Vegas said...

OMG. you better get that XBOX, or it sounds like you may go postal!! Give your mom a wish list, so she can say she did not hear you. My mom pulled that on me one year and I have given it to her on paper every year since. Well not this year because I have moved away from her. wwwaaaa WAAAAA.

The Leijte's in Vegas said...

Hello, I have a question for you. Is it true about all of the things I wrote on my blog tonight. Would you please read it, you just have to say Yes, or No..

Wendyburd1 said...

and what are mom and dad saying lately?

Yaya said...

I freaking love your posts!

So said...

Fruit cake cookies? That's just wrong.

Love the letter to Santa! No socks...actually that's what my kids are getting this year. Socks. They are cute socks though does that count?

Lauriej said...

Are socks in stockings bad? I have a habit of just saving stuff my kids need anyway and putting them in there.

Honey, if you don't get your x box i swear you are going to recieve one from a Utah-mom-blog-stalker that thinks your letters and posts are too cute to be ignored! :-)

Cant Hardly Wait said...

I think now would be an appropriate time to tell you the truth about santa...



he's actually....





a sock salesman.

Angela said...

Fruitcake has never graced these lips...and never will!

I hope you don't get more socks this year. Tho it would make for a nasty post-Christmas blog post. lol

Vic said...

This is quite cute! Nice bit of humor.

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