Tuesday, March 31, 2009

People Search for the Oddest Things

I started using Google Analytics a couple of weeks ago for the sole purpose of seeing what keywords people use in search engines.
Before I started using it, I had no idea that so many random things tied back to my blog.
I thought I would share with you today some of the most interesting things that people have been looking up.
(These people obviously have a lot of spare time.)

"Honka Honka" - This was the very first thing that someone searched and found my blog through. Apparently there are many clowns frequenting google, because this search has created 44 separate hits to my blog. So, fellow clowns, honka honka!
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"Burn Twilight For Free" - Well, let me tell you internet wanderer. Stealing is wrong, and trying to burn Twilight for free means that you're the worst of the worst. Shame on you, go out and buy the DVD like a good, respectable Twilight fan.
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"Pictures od a mud facial" - Guess what? You came to the right place! I have a slew of mud mask pictures for your viewing pleasure. Feast upon the beauty that is me:
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"ex boyfriend said he would call then didn't" - Sounds like you need a new ex-boyfriend. Here's what you do. You go out, find the nicest, sweetest guy that you can get your hands on. You stay with him a few weeks, and then tell him you just want to be friends. Then you'll have a great ex-boyfriend, instead of the scummy one you seem to be holding on to.

"hot chocolate burn on skin"
- You need to learn how to hold a cup. And stop making your hot chocolate that hot. It isn't called "lava chocolate". If it's so hot it warrants a google search, you're making it wrong.
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"I have got to be honest" - That's very noble of you, internet wanderer. But my question is, what is it that you need to be honest about? Because if you broke something of mine, I'm never talking to you again.

"what do you guys think about ex bfs" - I think that they're lousy and should buy me pretty things. And I'm a professional, so you can trust my opinion. So go tell them they need to buy me pretty things. Go on, do it! I have a blog! That means I know everything!

Since I just started doing this two weeks ago, and actually have 23 different keywords, I'm going to have quite a few interesting posts about this in the future.
But you know what, Mr./Mrs. Twilight stealer?
You are not welcome here! Be gone!

I also learned a lesson yesterday. Never post a sad post with a funny post, because that funny post just gets ignored.
Which is a shame, because I had some great pictures in there.
And I made a new layout. Needed something more springy and happy.
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Kristina P. said...

What if you're not a Twilight fan? Is it OK to burn Twilight for free then?

Anonymous said...

Love that bottom pic! You're beautiful!

And cute background!

I know right?! People are freaking weird. One time someone got to my blog googling "baby bump porn"....sicko!

I think the hot chocolate burn one is funny!

Bobby G said...

HA! Mine is all askew as well! PS supercute pic of you!

Kitten said...

Lovin' the new layout, Lee!

P.S. Go Huskies! (They're in the Final Four, FYI).

Erin said...

I love the new fun layout! And yeah, those are some weird google searches.

Me said...

I really like the new layout! Its fun!

owner said...

Huzzah for the shopkeep! Blogging done right.

Sheri said...

lol <3 Google Analytics.

Love the new layout too! :)

Anonymous said...

That is just too funny!

I love the new layout! It's so bright and cheery!

Wendyburd1 said...

I also love that pic of you, it looks so honest. Just you, no big smile you feel is needed, just Lee. LOVE IT!!

sandy said...

Hehehehe! These are very funny. The new layout is great:0)

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