I get it, you need to spend time with your friends.
But you've hit a point where the balance is off. Work gets 50%, friends get 40%, games get 5%, misc. gets 1%, and I'm left with 4% of your attention.
4%?
That's not going to fly.
And now, for my letter:
Hey Drew, how's it going?
Your girlfriend here.
Listen, we need to get something straight.
You know that guy Cameron?
He's NOT your girlfriend.
So, instead of treating him like one and tossing your ACTUAL girlfriend aside for him, how about you realize that you are being a real dillweed whenever you DO toss me aside.
Now I can understand wanting to see your friends.
Sure, that's a common thing!
But I had finals today. I had 3 finals that I was terrified about.
I'm stressed all the way down to my bones. I could crack any minute from the pressure I feel.
Were you there? Sparcely, but you didn't really bother to text.
Imagine my surprise when I get home, lay down, ask you to help me wind down, and NOPE, you're going out with Cameron!
This would not be the first time you put this Cameron character ahead of me. In fact, it happens on a regular basis.
Cameron has been back for less than a week, and you have already screwed me over twice for him!
(I'm sure you remember the night you said we'd talk, and then went to Cameron's instead. Oh, fun times.)
Now listen, you can keep doing this all you want!
No one says you won't face the consequences though.
You tell me I bitch too much, but take a look at your actions and realize that if you'd stop being an insufferable, selfish jackass, I'd have no problem with you!
Gee, my girlfriend needs me... screw that, I'm going with Cameron!
Yeah, that's the equivalent of what you did to me.
So listen, I can understand wanting to see friends. But on the ONE DAY you have had free since MONDAY, how about you give ME some love, instead of someone you spent almost a WEEK with.
Clear?
Good.
Or else you'll end up looking like Rihanna when she's with Chris Brown.
Now I'm sure after this open letter, I won't have to address the problem again.
But if I ever ask you to help me de-stress after a day as miserable as today, and Cameron's name comes up as the reason you can't, I'll take bitching to a whole new level.
Got it?
Good.
Another thing, this doesn't just go for Cameron.
Spend time with your friends after you've spent time with your girlfriend.
You haven't really spent time with me since last Sunday.
Last SUNDAY.
How many times have you been with friends?
Tuesday - Thursday: Cameron
Friday - Tyler
Saturday - REFUSED to call me before work until 5 minutes before you left. What the HELL is up with that?
Sunday - Work until 10, and then we talked. But you were too tired. Again.
Monday - Cameron
Any other time until then - To be decided, but if you blow me off again for someone else, you won't get to make the decision because your legs will be broken and you won't be able to leave the house.
I'm sick of you not taking your responsibility as a boyfriend seriously.
Now, lovely blog readers that have witnessed this open letter, feel free to leave comments for Drew to soak in. Maybe you guys will get through to him much better than I will.
(Drew, if you yell at me for even a second for this post, I'm doing another one. Maybe once you learn that I deserve attention, too, we won't have a problem)
Oh, and if you waste one of my days that I get with you when you're off from work again, we'll have some serious problems.
Yeah, that's my mad face. And it'll get a whole lot madder if you don't shape up soon.
14 comments:
This looks like a letter I would have written my high school boyfriend. Unfortunately, he didn't get the hint until after I put my foot down, decided I deserved better, and starting dating my now husband.
Moral of this story: when he realized that it doesn't get much better than a girlfriend like me and was ready to smarten up, it was too late. He spent months if not years trying to contact me and make things right between us. Wonder where he is today? Posting ads in the personal section of Craigslist for dates. Think this couldn't possibly be you someday? He didn't either.
You certainly don't deserve to be ignored by your boyfriend. I say start flirting around, find a new guy, and dump Drew.
I'm sorry you had a stressful day. And the one who should be there to support you was not, making your day harder.
As far as the bromance goes....just annoying. Seems to be a trend w/ guys though.
I am so with Erin. I still don't understand after everything, why you are still with him. YOu are so much better than this!
Maybe he will get the hint with this open letter.
So I accidently hit the publish your comment button before I said that I also agree with Erin. You deserve SOOOOOOOOO much better that this. You need someone who will treat you like a queen.
See dilemmas here. THATS how younger guys are, Bros before hoes is how we operate, eventually we get it, but we leave relationships in the dust. NOW its retarded, what needs to happen to make this stuff work is you need to be able to hang out with his friends, you dont like his friends it wont work, PERIOD. Because no matter how much you guys care for each other, you will never be his best guy friend. Its a TOTALLY different relationship. My GF is now probably my best friend! I can tell her thing I can tell no one else, but at the same time, she understands that I need guy time, watch a fight, or a game or whatever. Just know at this age if you cant get space, you cant work. Try to hang w/ his friends, im sure they suck but at the same time itll show him you care, its all about mind games my love at this age lol. I ASSURE you, you are WAY smarter than him lol.
Yeesh, little harsh there.
While he probably should spend time with you, I do think he's entitled to spend time with his friends. Especially if Cameron is his best friend. Like Bobby said, best guy friends (bros, if you will) have a bond that is rather different from that shared with a girlfriend, and I'm sure the same logic applies to girls. Try to back off a bit, or try to hang with his friends. You might be amazed at how much more receptive he is to that, rather than you bitching him out loudly.
And just from experience, I've found open letters rarely work.
If Drew insists on being a dillweed, then he doesn't deserve you. No you don't ignore your friends because you are in a relationship, but your significant other gets major attention, equal if not more than your friends.
Dump Drew if he won't change!! You need someone who will be there for you especially on such a stressful day!! HEAR that Drew, she needed you!!! Grrrrr!!!
Okay, so I dated my high school boyfriend for seven years (15 years old until 22) and although he spent time with his friends and probably did have the "bros before hoes" mentality, he did NOT disrespect me by not calling and/ or breaking promises...well, that happened much later. AND, we also had a semi-distance relationship, living 45 minutes away..which doesn't sound far but in high school it is. So, I'm just going to say that you are going to do what you are going to do about Drew, that's your choice, but NEVER forget that you deserve RESPECT. Period.
My goodness, I feel so old that I don't even know how to comment on this. I haven't dated in over 12 years. I do know that I enjoy my time alone now, away from the husband at times. However, I do remember being your age. I was pissed at a boyfriend one time for spending too much time with his Dad instead of me. You have to make the decision as to whether you want to put up with this or not. It's not like you're marrying him (right?). Both of you are so young and have your life ahead of you. I wish I had spent more time worrying about the things that mattered and less about boys. I hope things work out for you!
Oh yeah, you tell him!
Sometimes they just need that slap in the face!
Sorry things aren't going so good for you. You deserve much better and believe me there is better out there. If your guy doesn't treat you like a queen then you have the wrong guy! Period! Trust me on this.
I am hoping the best for you!
=^..^=
I think I had this conversation with my first bf in college (maybe several times), I just didn't have a blog :). (I started college at 17 - not as exceptional as you. Also, BTW, I think your doc is wrong about treatments for PCOS. There are definitely more things - i.e., hormone treatment - check the internet.) Anyway, ultimately HE had the wisdom to break up with ME, since it absolutely wasn't working out. In retrospect, the relationship was just sort of a silly idea.
Now, I'm not going to be all old and say not to date before you're thirty. Heck, I got married at 23. But I do think they're not worth dating until they're 25 (and sometimes not then). You're super-precocious; they really don't make guys that way. I think you're going to find yourself continually frustrated for several more years until your "acceptable" dating pool includes people who are just a little older :(. But good luck with Drew!
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