Friday, November 14, 2008

One Less Present to Give.

My boyfriend just broke up with me.
I'm going to flat out say it, he dumped me out of the blue.
Said he doesn't love me anymore. That this is for the best.

Did I take this with a stiff upper lip and power through?
No.
I cried, I cried a lot. I told him I hated him. I didn't mean it, but I felt it.
My mom's been coming back and forth telling me why this is better for me.
I'm starting to believe her. My hardest decision is whether I should stay friends with him or not.

In the long run I think I should. I spent two years with him, and I shouldn't throw away all of that time just because he doesn't love me. He doesn't hate me, we didn't end on "bad" terms technically.
I've told him that if he wants to be friends, he can form the relationship. If not, I'm not doing anything to progress it. I did enough work in our relationship to begin with.

I'm extremely torn up right now. First real boyfriend, first real breakup.
I have a headache, a stuffed nose, a confused mind. I just don't know what to do.

At one point I almost wanted him to give me back everything I ever gave him. But what would that do? I would be vindictive, and what would I do with it? Probably donate it to charity or something.
I've gotten past the point of crying every two seconds. That's a good step, right? My friends are all here for me. They understand why I want to stay friends with him. Although my best friend cracked me up. I called her absolutely bawling and I say "Shelby?" "Lee????" "He broke up with me." "OH MY GOD, NO F***ING WAY. DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL HIM? I WILL CALL HIM RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD."
She totally cracked me up doing that. She was maaaad.
What have I learned from this? If you keep a good mindset, you can stay friends with your exes, as long as you aren't trying to "work past the pain" (that would never work).
Although I'm still f***ing hurting right now.

11 comments:

Wendyburd1 said...

Oh Lee! I am so sorry! He is an IDIOT!! Did he flat out say I don't love you anymore like rude like that, if so DUMP him as a friend!!

I am SO sorry you are hurting!! *hugs*

Cosmopolite said...

Yeah, he sent me a text message and said "We need to talk" and I started crying because I knew what was coming.

And then when I asked why he was dumping me, he said because he didn't feel the same anymore.

Liz said...

It's totally his loss. I don't know about the whole friend thing. I have never able to stay friends with guys I dated. I am so sorry he did this to you. Keep your chin up. As I love to say, there's other sharks in the ocean. You will find someone that is even better.

Wendyburd1 said...

He is a turd Lee, forget about him. You deserve a guy who doesn't TEXT you about something that important!! TEXT!! He doesn't deserve your friendship!! You are too nice a girl for HIM!!

Chillygator said...

I'm sorry. That really, really sucks )o:

ukyankoz said...

Lee, that completely sucks, I can't believe he'd do that to you! I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! I know it's hard and you're hurting really bad, and I know there's probably nothing anyone could say to take away the hurt, but I hope you remember that we all think you're an incredibly gifted, talented, insightful and gorgeous girl...I know it might not seem like it now, but you will get through this!

*Hugging you tightly!*

Jillene said...

I am so sorry Lee!! But just remember that you are young, beautiful, smart and talented! Oh yeah--and there are other fish in the sea!! I know that you are hurting and I feel for you!! BUT--HIS LOSS!!

Me said...

I am so very sorry! Keep your chin up! You are young and beautiful. I am a firm believer that things tend to happen for a reason. Maybe this was for the best in the long run! I know that doesn't make it hurt any less. Sending you hugs!

P.S. As for staying friends. I think only time can answer whether or not that is a good idea. I think if you can do it without this hurt getting in the way, then good! Go for it! Otherwise, move on, they are called exes for a reason.

Angela said...

I echo the comments about "more fish in the sea". You will get thru this and be a better person because of it. Chin up! :)

Kristina P. said...

Lee, I just saw this post, and I am so sorry! You are completely adorable, and I'm sure he will be kicking himself later.

Hang in there, and all of your cyber-friends are here for you!

Paige said...

I am so sorry.

It sounds like such a cliche, but it really does get easier, and sometimes the best thing you can do for a future friendship is to take time away until it is not so raw

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